


Unforeseen Change

by APHTrashbin (verfens)



Series: Soldier and Snake [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Depression, Inter-Species Romance, M/M, Naga, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Snake Arthur, Suicide Attempt, snake england
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-04-30 07:48:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5155907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verfens/pseuds/APHTrashbin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out of Afghanistan and home with Arthur, Alfred has old wounds finally catch up to him and take what they will from him.  As a naga, Arthur has no experience with human illnesses, but he loves Alfred- his pack mate-, and will do whatever is necessary to support him.  Explicit sex, mentions of past violence, and current PTSD and depression and recovery for all of this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Human Illness

**Author's Note:**

> Heheh...i rather like this au, so have a bone! Sequel!

_He was 23, and he hated himself so, so much- so, so terribly much._

_He was 23, and he wanted to die._

_He was 23, and it was 2012, and things were supposed to be getting better in Afghanistan. He had graduated with honors only two years ago, before signing into the army to repay them back for paying for his tuition._

_But he was 23, and when he had been 21, all the stars had been in his eyes, but now he just saw them in the dead, the dead of his fallen friends and comrades, in words that had filled the air only moments before, breaths never to be taken again._

_They were dead, and Alfred knew that they didn't deserve it._

_There was a disembodied hand that was in front of him, blasted off of someone from the car. It identified the person it had belonged to easily enough- the wedding ring on its finger telling him it had been Thomas, the 30 something year old corporal, their leader, who had only two more months before he would be on leave with his wife and three daughters._

" _Private Jones!" Someone was yelling at him. "Private Jones, snap out of it! They're dead, we have to get out of here or we'll be dead too!"_

" _Oh god. It should have been us, oh god." His own voice sounded so distant, the ringing in his ears might be a part of that. "That IED would have hit us if we hadn't had stalled earlier… I should be dead, not…not…"_

" _Private Jones!"_

" _Leave him!" Another voice was screaming- though not at Alfred. "He wants to die, than let him! We need to get out of the open!"_

" _For Christ's sake!" The first voice snapped back. "I'm in charge here now that Corporal Thomas is dead! And I say anyone who is still alive is coming back with us, alive! So I'm not leaving Jones here!"_

_And the decision, the ability to die was ripped away from Alfred as he felt his world go upside down, being heaved onto the lieutenant's shoulder, his body hanging limply from the other man._

_He stared back at the hand, limp, the wedding band reminding how the Corporal would twist it when talking about plans, going home, why he was still here…_

_And Alfred cried. He cried and cried and cried and cried._

XXXX

Twisting, writhing, moaning, Alfred's face crumpled in pain and anguish, and Arthur stared helplessly at him the first time it happened. They had gone to sleep the night before, and it was sometime in the middle of the night that Arthur had woken up to this…

He didn't know what  _this_  even was.

Alfred's shaking was only getting harder- what had Alfred done for him when he was shaking? Given him medication, and held him, right? And that had mostly made Arthur feel better.

So Arthur swallowed uncertainty, and wrapped his arms around Alfred's torso, causing the human to abruptly stiffen, and made Arthur pause and temporarily release Alfred, only to have the human scream to life, looking sightlessly at the ceiling and sitting up fully in the bed.

Alfred wasn't looking at him as his pupils constricted in fright. He wasn't looking at anything at all. It was bizarre, and Arthur neither understood it or had any knowledge of why he was doing this. The snake man put a gentle hand on Alfred's shoulder, seeing the flinch but knowing it was not because Alfred was scared of him, but rather, something only Alfred could see, and wrapped his arms around him.

"Shhhhh…Alfred, shhh…" Arthur purred, the shhh sound drawn out as he nuzzled his pack mate. "It's me, Arthur…come on, let's go back to sleep. You're safe- you're safe."

Alfred looked at him a bit, slowly relaxing as Arthur rubbed his back and nuzzled him, his crazed blue eyes loosing the maddened look, and drooping in obvious sleepiness.

Arthur laid back down with him, cuddling him gently as Alfred seemed to suddenly need to cling on him.

And that was how it started.

XXXXX

There was a lot about Alfred that Arthur didn't know about- and Alfred was perfectly fine with that being the status quo of their relationship.

The months that were spent while Arthur was asleep, it was easy enough to ignore his old PTSD diagnosis, and let the shadows climb around him- but not overtake him, since Arthur needed to be cared for.

" _Private Jones!" "LEAVE HIM!" "Why'd the nut's car get lucky and the corporal's car get blown to bits?" "Lieutenant" "Corporal Thomas wasn't supposed to die! He had a wife, and kids! All I have for me is a brother I never knew and a father who left me before he even knew me!" "LIEAUTENANT, THEY'VE DIED, LEAVE THEM!" "He is alive!"_

However, they had grown, and multiplied, and threatened to swallow Alfred whole.

"Why are you taking those pills?" Arthur asked, innocuously enough. "Are you sick?"

Alfred frowned at him, looking away in guilt. "Well. Sort of." He admitted. He felt like such a coward for not wanting to explain it to Arthur. But Arthur- he had only seen Alfred as a strong person, not someone who was capable of…

He felt sick to his stomach, his breakfast threatening to make a second appearance, at the thought.

However, the mix of pills he had from his time in the military had been meant to help. He hadn't taken them in a few years, since he hadn't needed to, so…maybe it would help get this under control again?

Of course it wouldn't. Alfred knew from experience that these pills just didn't sit well with him. However, he didn't really want to go to another doctor.

He swallowed the pills with a big glass of orange juice, smiling at Arthur half-heartedly, going to change his bandages on the stubborn cuts, and rub some cream on his burns, to assist in making them fade.

Alfred didn't look back to see Arthur's confused, uncertain look directed at him.

XXXXX

Whatever was in those pills, Arthur didn't like them.

They made Alfred sad, and quiet. Yes, they made the stutters go away when Alfred spoke, but it was because Alfred stopped speaking. Yes, the 'nightmares' went away, but it was only because the terror was always in the back of Alfred's eyes, and there was never relief.

He didn't know why Alfred took them, but it just seemed so counterproductive, since they seemed to draw all the life out of him, and left him as a shell of who he normally was.

It was like Alfred stopped caring about anything while he was on them.

That was why one day; Arthur hid them from him- simply taking them out of the cabinet and putting the bottles elsewhere.

Alfred looked lost when he examined the cabinet that night before bed, squinting as he tried to figure out where they had gone.

"Arthur, did you move them…?" He asked, confused, voice deadened and hollow. Arthur shook his head, this being the first real conversation they had had in over a week, and he wasn't going to say anything, angry and upset with Alfred, and the first time Alfred had mentioned the medication to him in almost a month.

He was hurting, and so he refused to dignify his alpha with anything until he was brought into the loop.

Alfred examined him with sad blue eyes, seeming to search for something in him, before something seemed to click in him for a moment, and he nodded, looking away. "I-I…I see…" He murmured, walking off in his slow, trudging footsteps.

XXXXX

They made the pain go away, just as they had before, but they made everything go away with it- suddenly nothing mattered, once again.

Time blurred together, people blurred together, until one morning Alfred thought he woke up in the middle of a rural town, Afghani men asking if he were alright, if he needed someone, had he been shot…etc., but once he snapped out of the hallucination, he realized he was at home, with Arthur.

His pills were gone- that's right.

Maybe that's why the hallucination of waking up in that Afghani town was there again.

The last time he had been there was when he had OD'd himself, and somehow, survived it. The old man he had me that day- what had he said to him?

It was dark outside. The clock said 12 AM, and Alfred's skin felt like it was on fire.

He started to pace, as the thoughts in his head grew in strength, and power.

Why wasn't Arthur here?

And then he remembered....

That was right, he hadn't come to bed that night…maybe he had left. It would make sense; since Alfred was weak, Alfred was a poor lover, he felt dead inside because of the medication, and he imaged Arthur found it distasteful.

He didn't blame him for finding him distasteful. Alfred hated himself- surely Arthur would too.

" _How come you survived, you sack of shit!"_

Alfred didn't know.

" _You didn't deserve it!"_

Alfred knew that.

_Why are you wasting life like this?_

He didn't know.

_You have a gun._

That, that he knew…

_You can end it- your meaningless existence._

Alfred felt tears dripping down his face.

" _If he wants to die, let him!_ "

_Corporal Thomas' hand sitting in front of him, disembodied, the wedding ring still on it._

"I…I want to die…." Alfred sobbed, and lay on his bed for a few minutes longer, before he pulled himself together, feeling like all the happiness in his world had been taken from him, and he himself was a shell of Alfred.

XXXXX

Arthur hadn't gone to their shared bedroom that night, refusing now that he knew could get an upper hand in this. He didn't respond to Alfred's calls for him that night, ignoring how they sounded so terribly lonely and upset. He could wait this out. He deserved to know the truth, and not be given lies by Alfred.

And so he waited him out. Arthur remained in his hiding place, and slept lightly.

Something woke him during the night, and he recognized it as Alfred's trudging footsteps across the house. Alfred was moving, and it was strange to Arthur, since the human usually slept though the night, pardoning nightmares, and even when he had nightmares, he didn't get up and move around.

Arthur watched as Alfred trudged along with his head down and eyes at the floor.

He had gone to the bathroom, and shut the door.

However, Arthur's blood had run cold.

Why was Alfred holding a gun?

That was something Arthur knew the meaning of- it meant death. It was dangerous- it was easy to kill with it, but there wasn't anyone in the bathroom, was there?

He slithered over to the door, and opened it a smidge, to look inside.

Alfred didn't seem to notice him at first, the gun in his lap.

"You saw how he looked at you." Alfred was mumbling. "He hates you. Weak. Disgusting.  _They_  wouldn't need all those pills, so why do you, Alfred?"

Arthur felt his stomach drop- what was Alfred going on about? He didn't understand- this wasn't like him; it wasn't natural for someone to want to die at their own hand, was it? Arthur didn't understand this at all. He was upset at being lied to, not because Alfred was weak!

"Arthur thinks I'm weak too." He hiccupped, and it was obvious now that he had been crying. "I am weak, though… He deserves better than me…He's  _left_  me… I didn't deserve to live, why did I…? And not… Arthur deserves someone that's not this way."

Alfred lifted the gun, but to Arthur's horrified surprise, it was to his own temple.

What was this? What was his human doing?!

"Alfred, just take the shot." The human cried, his voice thick with upset even as he tried to encourage himself, his body shaking. "You deserve to be dead- they all deserve better than you. This world would be a better place…"

The gun shook in Alfred's hand, before it dropped, and Alfred sobs began in earnest. "Dammit!" He cried out. "I can't do it!" He curled on himself, covering his face with his hands.

"Alfred…?" Arthur's voice finally found itself, and Alfred stiffened suddenly, jerking his head towards the naga, his eyes bloodshot and filled with tears, his face gaunt and mouth moving wordlessly. "What were you doing…?"

Alfred kept staring, tears dripping from his chin, unable to answer Arthur, and Arthur pushed the door open, and came inside, despite how Alfred curled into himself. "Alfred, answer me. What were you doing?" Arthur demanded, and blocked Alfred from the gun.

Alfred didn't say anything, tears still dripping down his face.

Arthur softened, seeing as the hard approach was getting him nowhere. "Alfred, please, let me help…I don't know what's wrong, I don't know what to do…I don't even know why you were doing that…with the gun. I want to help you, you're my pack mate, my beloved…please…."

He gently picked Alfred up, the human stiff in his arms, frozen for only a moment, before he broke down in Arthur's arms, crying into his chest. "I wanna die, Arthur. I don't want to keep feeling like this anymore! It hurts! It hurts so badly!"

Arthur felt it was his turn to freeze, as he realized just how close he had come to actually losing his beloved in the moment before. However, his abrupt freeze was interpreted as something other than shock on Alfred's behalf, and Alfred started to struggle with him, upset and trying to get away.

Except Arthur wouldn't let him go.

"No, Alfred, shhhhh…" Arthur said, voice shaky but needing to reassure Alfred. He wasn't going to let Alfred get away. "Shhh…. it's okay, it's okay…don't fight me, I'm not going to hurt you…"

"L-Let me go!" Alfred screamed. "You don't care about me! You think I'm weak!"

Arthur simply found all of this thinking horrifically irrational, but that was when it hit him. This  _wasn't_  rational. It defied all standards of how creatures lived. It was a human disease, and he remembered that Alfred had vaguely hinted as to such over a month ago.

Arthur tightened around the human, refusing to let him go now that he knew that his human was, indeed, sick.

"No." Arthur said, firmly. "None of what you're saying is true."

Alfred still struggled, and cried, until he started to beg. Unconsciously, Arthur had tightened his tail in displeasure, and initially believed the quick breathing to be a symbol of how he was crying, but realized he had been constricting him around his waist.

Arthur didn't know the best method of helping him, though. Matthew or Francis would, but they were back in Afghanistan, Alfred had explained over a month ago.

He simply held Alfred to him with his arms, the human having gone partially limp after being constricted too much and then released. Arthur stroked Alfred's hair, unsure of the best course of action. He couldn't precisely take Alfred to one of the humans "doctors" without risk of being put in a lab again, like he was in when he was young.

Alfred's house phone rang. It was an unfamiliar number, but Arthur prayed for a miracle at this point.

"Hello?" He said, trying not to let on his panic as he spoke.

"Oh wow, uhm." It coughed. "Arthur? Is that you?"

"Matthew." Arthur said, relieved, "Thank goodness."

"What? I mean, it's nice to talk with you, but…what's wrong there?" Matthew asked, suddenly nervous.

"I don't know what's wrong with him!" Arthur let the panic bleed through him. "He was taking medication, and the medication made him simply not care about  _anything_ , and and, he does weird things at night, and Matthew, he had a gun in the bathroom that he had at his temple but he threw it to the floor- and he said he wants to  _die_!"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down." Matthew said, though his voice too, had become more serious. "Alfred? Alfred, as in, the happy-go-lucky, unafraid of anything, confident,  _Alfred_ , the soldier, Alfred?  _That_  Alfred?"

"Yes, Matthew!" Arthur snapped. "I am unaware of there being other Alfred's in my life!"

"Right, right." Matthew said, gulping. "Well. I just…I hadn't pinned him to be suicidal…"

"What do I do?" Arthur asked, panicked. "Is there a medication he needs, a scan to tell where a bone is broken, is it a parasite?"

"No, no…" Matthew said, concerned. "It's…it's not from anything like a broken bone or a parasite… It's likely from some trauma at the front, which we simply didn't… know about until now. Or, only made itself apparent now."

"Well, what do I do?" He asked, still hurting, still wondering how to make Alfred better. "Can you come here, you know more about this than I do!"

"I don't know if that would be appropriate…" Matthew said, voice wishy-washy and Arthur grunted.

"Come to his home or I swear to god, I will hunt you down, and I will personally show you what it's like to get a snake's bite on your genitalia!" Arthur hissed, and Matthew agreed.

"Uhm. I need to have your address…" Matthew said, awkward. "Can you find a piece of Alfred's mail, somewhere…?"

Once Arthur had relayed the information, Matthew spoke, surprised. "Y-you two really  _aren't_  all that far from us, wow." Matthew sounded just vaguely bitter, but Arthur didn't get it. He told Matthew in severe irritation to just get over to them, and quickly.

"It'll take me a few hours, but…I'll be there by morning."

Arthur gently stroked Alfred's hair as he agreed. "I'll see you then."

XXXXX

Alfred fell asleep at some time in the night, his body warm and breathing soft, until his nightmare started, but Arthur remedied that by kissing him and whispering once again. He looked exhausted as he rested in Arthur's coils, bundled up in a blanket to preserve his heat.

Arthur was simply waiting at this point- sunrise would soon be upon them. And Arthur wasn't going to let him have those pills again. Never, since they had done this to him. Matthew would know what else to do for him- Alfred needed that.

He started to stroked Alfred's hair again out of nervousness- was Matthew coming? -And as the sun started to rise, he heard a honk coming from the front of the house, both Arthur and Alfred jumping at the sound. Arthur did it because it was unfamiliar, but Alfred…

It seemed to frighten him incredibly, struggling and writhing and Arthur's instincts drove him to squeeze him tighter, before he realized that this would suffocate the human.

He released Alfred, even though the poor human had the breath taken from him, and had fallen unconscious. Arthur made sure he was still breathing, and once he was sure, he went over to the door and opened it partially.

"Hey, Arthur." Matthew said, strangely muted as he looked at him, before Arthur opened the door for him, quietly gesturing Matthew to come inside.

"Wow. What happened to him?" The other man joked, and Arthur glared.

"The honking frightened him, made him struggle." He hissed, his voice sharply displeased, "And my instincts reacted, since he was in my coils, to prevent him from running off and feel if he started to have a nightmare. I squeezed a little too hard."

Matthew raised an eyebrow, before gently rubbing his forehead. "Oh boy." He muttered, before telling Arthur to help him carry Alfred to a bed.

"D…does he live with someone else?" Matthew eventually asked, as he sat Alfred up and forced him to drink water, and Arthur was confused.

"I mean, he lives with me." Arthur said, making a face, and Matthew sagged.

"Right…right." He murmured, and Arthur felt like something had gone over his head, but he didn't question it as he watched Matthew do an exam of Alfred, muttering about his body and upsetting current condition.

However, Matthew decided the only thing to do was to wait until the other woke up…and if he didn't, well.

Matthew would have to take Alfred to the hospital, and get him treatment that the human obviously needed and Matthew could not provide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as unfortunate as it is to say, i've disabled anonymous commenting on this story. for one reason or the other, someone has been waltzing around specifically this story, on both this account and my other account, saying things about how countries arent gay, how this is gross, to the more severe and targed toward me- including "some homosexuals have a little tact in public", and how I need to be "fixed where I can't breed".... (you can see a few of these comments on this chapter, the rest are on my ff account. 
> 
> However, as it stands, i want to keep anonymous commenting open since i know that not everyone has an account, but...i dont like being harrassed, and someone most certainly /is/ harrassing me. so off they go...


	2. Human Fright

"Why is he doing that?" Arthur asked, confused as Matthew sat with him, trying to help calm Alfred down in his sleep.

They didn't seem to get along that much, or trust each other, without Alfred acting as a social lubricant. They both had respective reasons to distrust the other, and so they would not see eye to eye.

"Do you not dream, Arthur?" Matthew gave him a strange look, and Arthur shook his head, turning back to watch his beloved.

"I don't even know what that is, so probably not." Arthur admitted, rubbing Alfred's forehead slowly, as Alfred twisted and groaned in…whatever  _this_  was. "He called them nightmares…but I don't understand. What are they? It doesn't make any sense."

Matthew sighed, and nodded. "Well, I wondered at some of the other differences between humans and…whatever you are, precisely." He ran a hand through his hair as Arthur filled him in.

"We're called naga." He murmured, and Matthew looked at him in shock.

"Wait- there are  _more_   _of you_?" Matthew stammered in sudden confusion, and Arthur raised an eyebrow in utter disdain.

He made a face, wondering if he should dignify that with a response. "Well, obviously I didn't burst from thin air." He muttered.

Matthew looked baffled, and vaguely afraid, but he nodded. "Well, where are they?"

And Arthur closed his eyes, and sighed, looking to Alfred's face to avoid the purple stare of the other human.

"I don't know." Arthur admitted, barely speaking.

"Surely, you remember the last time you saw them?" Matthew clarified, furrowing his brows as the cogs in his head worked, attempting to figure out where the faux pas was.

"Yes." Arthur agreed, hesitantly. "It had been time for…for the cold, and…" He sighed. "Once moment, they were with me, the next time I opened my eyes…"

The empty feeling of knowing no pack was hard to express in words.

"They weren't there. I was in a glass case, for how long, I couldn't say…but at some point, Alfred found me." He looked away, thinking back to that moment where he had been alone for the first time.

_A lot of things were just this way because they were- that was what his mother had told him after he had been born. A lot of things were just this way because they were._

_He had grown up in a large pack of his kind- the Naga, even though they were in captivity. He had had his mother, and his many brothers to keep him company year after year of tedious life under humans. The ones in the white lab had spent years coming at him with small white things that made his thoughts go slow or made them speed up, they came at him with metal knives that cut and prod, and sharp things that they stuck in his arm. They had come at all of them with that._

_His name was Arthur, he had learnt that from watching the humans often enough- And "Arthur" was used only in reference to himself, so he had figured out that was his human name. However, he had attempted to speak to him, and had said "Arthur" in the thick sounding human language and pointed to himself, and they had paled considerably, and he was given the mask that put him to sleep again._

_The humans didn't speak around them any longer after that._

_And this was how things just were. There wasn't an explanation to it. This was how they lived- survived. They didn't cause a fuss for the humans, who outnumbered even the whole pack._

_But because they didn't struggle… that it wasn't that way any longer._

_After this particular years hibernation, Arthur woke up alone, in a big glass case, with a top he couldn't reach, and only little air holes on top, making breathing hard for him only hours after waking up in it._

_There were blankets and bedding materials, but nowhere that he could hide, and he felt so vulnerable. He paced at first, wondering where his pack was, but there was no answer to his cries for help._

_The temperature got colder in the glass case, and he figured that it was humans that were doing that, and Arthur's body simply wouldn't allow him to keep going once it got that cold. He curled up in the blanket, which smelled of nothing, not even himself, and he cried, and cried, until the cold claimed him once again._

_He had lived only 7 years on this earth, yet this was the first year he would be spending alone, and he wasn't even fully grown yet- he was going to reach adulthood in perhaps another 3 or so cold times..._

_The only things he knew about himself was that he had been named Arthur, and he hated this place so terribly much._

"Arthur?" Matthew was calling him, and Arthur snapped back to the present. "You spaced out on me…. what were you thinking about?" He asked, confused, and sounding frightened. Arthur felt how his fangs were bared at the memory, and he put them away.

"…" He sighed. "Thinking about my pack..." Sometimes it was better to not tell them these things, and so he left it at that.

Matthew seemed to accept that for an answer. "That's awfully sad…" He murmured.

"I suppose so." Arthur said. "I don't dwell on it… Alfred…" He couldn't finish that sentence. He wasn't willing to disclose how close he was to Alfred to a stranger who he associated mildly with pain.

Matthew only nodded.

XXXXX

However, Alfred didn't wake in the morning, remaining unconscious.

And Matthew was growing worried.

"He should be awake…" The other human murmured, gulping. "This isn't good…"

"What do we do?" Arthur asked, staring down at Alfred, green eyes wide with concern, more than willing to go along with Matthew's opinion, as long as he talked with him before doing anything. "He's sick, you helped me then… can't you help him?"

The other human looked rather surprised. "You remember that?" He asked, and Arthur rolled his eyes.

Of course. He didn't even bother answering him. It was why it was so bad that he couldn't remember what had happened to his pack, or even how much time had passed between being separated and now.

Matthew sighed. "Well…I think…I think he needs to come with me." Matthew said, firm. "I am not a doctor, I'm a student. And my opinion is that this is out of my league. Surely you realize that when you were sick, you were taken to the doctor, and out of your home, right?"

Even though the word "home" to describe his prison was a little crude, Arthur remembered the day he was rescued…he remembered it better than any other day that he was trapped there.

_He didn't know where the humans had gone._

_It had been many, many nights since he had seen them last._

_He lay on the glass floor, seeking the cool that was still there._

_The cooling device broke, he thought at one point. Perhaps they were just waiting for him to die._

_That had been many, many days ago. But time was hard to keep track of here, with no one to talk to, nothing to look at…_

_Arthur remained outstretched, wondering how his life had turned out this way even as his thoughts dwindled into animalistic fear and acceptance, that he was going to die here._

_Hopeless green eyes blinked absently at the world around him, waiting for death._

_However, he then saw an unfamiliar human walk by- though maybe he was familiar. He couldn't see very well anymore. The world went upside down again…. he didn't know why that happened but it did… but he felt sick, so sick…the vertigo made his eyes roll up into his head._

_The unfamiliar human screamed, bringing more, loud feet suddenly stomping toward him, but he couldn't find the energy to do more than lay still, his stomach up in the air and his eyes rolling up into his head. Maybe if they thought he was dead…?_

_They were talking with someone who wasn't in the room. And then the path cleared. It was another human. He had bright blue eyes, and he walked to Arthur's cage, entirely unafraid, and looked him over, his face softening._

_And then he lifted off the lid._

_Arthur couldn't even sit up, and so he watched as the human looked over his body once again, trying not to look at his tail, Arthur's head feeling strange as he thought it was slightly weird he was seeing the human's face from this angle._

_The human was talking, but Arthur didn't pick up a lot of words._

"… _. Not leaving him...sick…please…break this thing open…."_

_The human was talking about him… was…. was he setting Arthur free?_

_The one named Marshall ran out of the door as the humans gathered around his cage, and Arthur stared, his heart clenching in fear, as he couldn't understand them. One of them was saying "he's" afraid of snakes" and Arthur vaguely understood they were referring to the one that had run away._

" _Amazing." The blue eyed human said, with a small smile on his face, and he kept speaking, but Arthur picked up the end. "…Understand us." and then the question tilt._

_Arthur curled up in a ball, staring at the human as he clenched tight on himself at the sound of breaking glass, unable to stop his head from tilting back uncomfortably or how his body shook in fear, though he nodded at the question._

"… _Not…hurt you…" The blue eyed one said in a soft voice. "I'm Alfred…out of here…. promise."_

The human had gotten rid of the burning hot bad sensation, and had brought him out of the bad place altogether. Alfred had taken care of him, kept him safe.

Arthur's thumb was slowly rubbing circles around Alfred's hand, having gripped it unconsciously. Alfred would be best with him, right? Arthur was pack, and pack meant safety…well, perhaps Arthur needed Alfred more than the other way around, but seeing how his beloved was hurt, it enacted a sense of a need for protection…

And then Matthew triggered that, and picked Alfred up, taking Alfred's hand and putting it over the unconscious man. Arthur hissed in surprise, panicking at how Matthew was going to take Alfred away, and the other human misinterpreted his sounds.

"Get back!" Matthew said, sharply, afraid of Arthur. Arthur hadn't realized that Matthew had picked up the gun, and now was pointing it at Arthur.

It caused sentient thought to leave his mind, his pupils going wide and crouching on the ground.

Flight or fight.

If he ran, he might live- if he fought, he might keep Alfred with him.

He fought, leaping at Matthew blindly. He wasn't assured life if he ran. Alfred was his life anyway. Life wasn't worth living without a pack- Arthur knew that, and Alfred was already doing silly things like that.

Wrong choice.

He felt the pain in his shoulder as suddenly, he was forced back by the power of the gunshot, and saw as pack was taken. Arthur spat in anger and pain, chasing after Matthew, before he felt another shot, this time in the area between his chest and tail. It hurt, it hurt, it  _hurt_!

And he lay there, watching as his pack was stolen.

Alfred… Alfred… Alfred….

Sobs tore through him as pain wracked his body.

Words were stolen from him.

Alfred…Alfred…

He was dizzy, and his survival instincts were taking over, the snake man looking at the door hopelessly, helplessly, his heart screaming for him as his body screamed for a release from pain.

Alfred…

XXXXX

Alfred woke up in a hospital room.

"Jesus…" He muttered, his throat dry, and his body aching.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Alfred." A nurse said, smiling. "We thought we had lost you there for a bit, but you made it."

"What happened?" He asked, rubbing his aching temples and closing his eyes.

"Your body went into withdrawal from a lot of drugs." She admitted plainly. "You're going to need to stay with us for a bit, and answer some of our questions."

Alfred's eyes widened suddenly, jolting awake. "Arthur!" He shouted, before he realized, attempting to sit up, that his hands were handcuffed to the bed.

He looked to her, and she simply nodded sadly.

"We were told you tried to do something bad…" She murmured, gentle.

"No, no, you don't understand! I need to get back to my house! I can't stay here." He argued, desperate, and the nurse sighed, looking like she was tired.

"Unfortunately Mr. Jones, your brother already admitted you. Until you pass the therapist's approval, unfortunately, you'll have to stay here."

This wasn't just a hospital, oh no.

Alfred had landed himself in a goddamned psych ward.

XXXXX

As Alfred had found out, he had already been there for a whole week when he had woken up, and now it had been a week and a half.

Days itched by terribly slowly. They monitored med intakes, and forced "therapy sessions" on him. It was awful, all of it.

He needed to get back to his house, find out how Arthur was managing on his own, find out which goddamned idiot had locked him up…

They had said his brother had done it, and Alfred's vehement dislike of not being allowed to leave only grew. He didn't even know this person.

Oh god…what if…what if they had  _killed_  Arthur?

He could already see it- some stranger coming to Alfred's door, Arthur answering it in a tizzy, needing someone to help, and perhaps thinking it was Alfred's family, even though Alfred had never spoken about it.

The person freaking out, Arthur freaking out, and somehow, it ended with Arthur dead, and Alfred in a psych ward.

Worry ate him from the inside out. Arthur hadn't done well with being apart from Alfred for a few days, back in Afghanistan, and that was  _before_ they had spent essentially every waking moment together, for literally months on end.

However, there was good news. He would be allowed to go home the next day, under the knowledge that he would be visiting a therapist to evaluate his medication needs.

He glared at the therapist anyway, hating her and hating whoever had put him here.

XXXXX

The bad human was shouting in pain, and he felt blood on his lips. He licked them.

Good. Now go away.

The bad human kept shouting at him, and then kicked the container that Arthur had shoved himself into, knocking him around inside of it, making Arthur his in terror, in fear.

Bad human's stomps left the room, and Arthur shook and shivered, feeling awfully cold and woozy. He injured by bad human. Had pack taken away, stolen. Pack sick, needed to be with pack, not taken…

He had to admit, bad human was awfully persistent with trying to make him come out of the container. First food, then drugged water, and now simply trying to surprise him and grab him. He didn't go away, like most predators would when they'd realize they couldn't get him without getting bitten.

The bad human walked in again, and Arthur hissed angrily at him, green eyes staring from the container, body tight against the back end of it.

Bad human was shouting at him again, and Arthur hissed louder, spitting and growling gutturally at it to try and make him go away.

But bad human didn't try and grab him. No. He simply shut the door, trapping Arthur there.

He hissed loudly in panic, suddenly encapsulated in utter darkness, alone, pack missing, him sick, him sick, him hurt, him hurt!

He scratched at the exit, but when he felt bad human kick him, he stopped, curling up in the darkness, shivering hopelessly, before tears started again.  _Bad human please help pack help Arthur help Arthur bad human hurt Arthur steal pack where pack Alfred beloved Alfred pack help Alfred beloved missing help please help hurts help hurt hurts HURTS…_

His pleas in his native tongue didn't reach anyone as the temperature dropped suddenly, shocking him with how intense the change was, and Arthur buried his head in the bloodstained blanket, and let out weak, muffled cries of pain, until he was too tired to cry, and unconsciousness claimed him.

XXXXX

Alfred unlocked his door in nervousness, calling out quietly. "Hello? Arthur?" He asked, and his stomach dropped, because he heard nothing. "I-it's okay…I'm home… you can come out now…"

There was no reply, and Alfred's stomach clenched. "Oh god, please don't be dead…" Alfred said, biting his lip and kept looking around, walking into the living room.

What surprised him was the medical student from Afghanistan, sleeping upright on his couch.

"What the fuck!" He shouted, making Matthew jump up, and look straight at Alfred, his pupils going small and avoiding his gaze. "…Matthew? What are you doing here?"

"…uhm." He coughed. "Well. I…I told my dad that…that once I was home from Afghanistan, that I would…get in contact with you."

Alfred stared at him, like he'd grown a second head.

"Look! Okay, my dad gave me the address, and I found you unconscious on the floor!" Matthew shouted, angry, avoiding Alfred's gaze. "I didn't know that you were…you were!" He gestured helplessly at Alfred. "You know!"

"Matthew. Where is Arthur?" He asked, worried. "I've never left him alone for this long, he doesn't handle separation that well."

"H-he wasn't here." Matthew said, swallowing thickly. "I only found you."

Alfred's hands trailed down to Matthew's, and his eyes narrowed in suspicion at the bandages.

"You're lying." Alfred said, coldly. "Tell me, where is Arthur." Blue eyes stared at Matthew's face, and Matthew caved.

"Look! He started hissing at me!" He shouted. "He wasn't going to let me leave with you, you were unconscious- we couldn't wake you up!" Matthew said, angry. "I was scared as shit because he had tried to grab you again, and he was following me and hissing, but, he ignored me when I told him to stay back, and so I drew the gun at him, and I gave him a last warning!"

Alfred stared, horrified, his whole body tense. "Oh my god, you shot him."

"Of course I did! He lunged at me!" Matthew glared. "You kept an aggressive animal here, of course I was going to shoot him if he attacked! And I did it again when he lunged for you despite the first shot!"

"Oh my god." Alfred's eyes were tearing up, and he gulped as he tried to explain. "M-Matthew, from his perspective you threatened  _us_  first- Arthur…Arthur hisses at anything negative. Fear, anger, panic, it all causes him to hiss. He was probably scared to death, and you set off his flight or fight response with the threat of the gun…oh my god." Tears dripped down his face. "Oh my god. Arthur…Arthur…He's  _dead_ , isn't he?"

"I didn't kill him." Matthew scowled in irritation. "Once you were at the hospital, I came back, and he had lodged himself in that log thing we made for him to hibernate in. He was alive, as evidenced by all the  _bite marks_  the stupid animal gave me."

"What happened after that?" Alfred asked, expectant, hope blossoming in his stomach. "You gave him water, and pain medication, at the very least, right?"

Matthew froze. "Uhm." He gulped.

"What?" Alfred asked, staring. "Where is it? Where is Arthur?"

Matthew looked around desperately, avoiding Alfred's question, and frustrating him greatly. "He-he ran away…I…"

However, Matthew's frequent nervous glancing at the broom closet…it told Alfred enough, and Alfred pushed past him to open it, finding the container lodged in the back.

Alfred tore it out, but there was no sound or movement from within. "Arthur?" He asked, his heart pounding, looking it over, and then his heart sinking abruptly when he saw the thermostat.

It was only slightly above freezing, resting at about 38 degrees Fahrenheit.

Partially dried blood oozed from the bottom air holes of the container.

"Oh my god." Alfred couldn't even look at Matthew, horrified, angry, upset, grieving. "You've killed him."

"I-I…!" Matthew said, shocked at the hate that was given to him after Alfred gently, tenderly set down the box and turned to stare at him. "He-he! He  _attacked_  me! Why doesn't that matter?!"

"You  _murdered_  him! Get out! Get the fuck out of my house! Murderer!" Alfred shouted; his face scrunched up in agony and animosity as he stood to defend Arthur's enclosure from any further harm. "Get  _out!_ Or I'll show you how fucking great it is to be fucking shot and left to die from blood loss or infection!"

Matthew didn't need much convincing, turning tail and running, before Alfred sagged suddenly, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes as he stared with a broken heart and a sickened stomach at the enclosure that had become Arthur's tomb.

And he cried, going over to the enclosure and looking at it brokenly, not really even sure if he wanted to open it to see Arthur's corpse, debating burying it like it was.

He had only stayed alive because Arthur had needed him. That was why he hadn't pulled the trigger. Without him, Arthur had no one else.

But now he was dead, murdered, probably for only trying to help Alfred, or at least  _stay_  with him.

Alfred touched the box, turning off the air conditioning that made it so cold inside, and sobbed again, gently crying Arthur's name.

Minutes passed slowly, but he had run out of tears to cry once again, and he gently laid his head on the enclosure, wanting so badly to reverse what had happened. However, he heard something strange in the box, the sound vibrating slightly against his head.

It was weak, but…it almost sounded like…scratching.

Once it clicked in his mind what the scratching noise probably was, it threw Alfred into desperate motion. He opened the enclosure, and saw light reflecting off Arthur's eyes, and he smiled weakly, trying to remain optimistic for him.

"Hi, Arthur…Matthew's gone…you're in bad shape…oh god." He choked, before he gently put his hand in, letting Arthur smell him, and when there was no biting, he gently pulled in and wrapped his hand around Arthur's arm, pulling him out, before readjusting and pulling him out from under his arms.

Arthur was absolutely freezing, but Alfred ignored it, the snake man crying weakly as he saw it was Alfred, and gently curling into his heat, making Alfred want to cry for him. Arthur wasn't even moving his tail, it twitched pitifully, but he let it drag on the floor, dried blood in the bandage.

However, he simply dragged Arthur to the fireplace, and set him down, as he had to put the tinder in the fireplace, stroking his hair slowly as Arthur cried harder, his body hurting and lacking words at the moment.

Alfred lit the fire, running quickly to his room to grab his army things for dealing with gunshot wounds, before settling down next to Arthur and start looking over the injuries. He didn't know anything about heatstroke, but any army officer worth his salt knew about gunshot wounds.

Arthur was lucky. Matthew hadn't shot anything that was super important- painful, sure, but not important. He had gone for his right shoulder, and it had gone through his body- not hitting any bones, simply going straight through. This one had bled a fair amount, but not enough to kill him.

The other was where his pelvis would be. There wasn't an exit wound, meaning it was lodged inside of him- and probably lodged in his pelvic bone, making it a very, very painful injury.

No wonder Arthur was miserable- he was clearly in a lot of pain, and he had been in this much pain for 10 days. 10 days! That was horrifying to think about! But Alfred didn't think about it, since Arthur needed help, and even though Alfred gave him his best pain medication, and wrapped better bandages around the wounds than the shaky, bloodied things that looked as though Arthur had done them for himself, but…he probably had…and anger surged back through Alfred, hot and heavy.

Arthur had spent 10 days in excruciating pain over a  _misunderstanding_ ; alone and suffering, and thinking he would die like that. It was simply barbaric, that Matthew would shoot him to begin with and then prevent Alfred from seeing him by keeping him there by force.

Arthur needed a doctor. Alfred could bandage his gunshot wounds nine ways to Sunday, but he wasn't fit to treat what was likely a broken pelvis and a bad infection. But who on Earth could he call about this? Who could he ask to help Arthur- since there was no way in hell that Alfred would be calling  _Matthew_  to give his tender affections to Arthur again. Oh no.

Alfred desperately looked through his contacts on his phone, and then remembered the one person in high school that he had trusted more than anyone else.

Ivan Braginsky.

He dialed, and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't catch it in last chapter, Alfred does indeed have a brother, and it is indeed, Matthew, as said in this chapter.
> 
> Matthew doesn't know Arthur as well as Alfred, he only knew that when threatened, he was more than willing to attempt to kill Alfred. However, when he threatened him, Arthur also didn't know/trust Matthew as much, seeing him as an outsider who was threatening him and taking away his pack. tldr, neither of them trusted each other, and led to the bottom right corner of the prisoner's dilemma, essentially.... and arthur got shot.
> 
> if u feel like aww, but i wanted to see Arthur help alfred- lemme say that he will. it'll be explained next chapter, but there is more to alfred than meets the eye, aka an explanation of why he's ignoring his ptsd and how that works and why it was barely touched on in the last version.


	3. Human Tenacity

Arthur was scared. It was to be expected. Arthur had been scared shitless, and nearly killed, and had his pack taken from him after that happened, and then he had been locked inside of a place meant to keep him safe, and nearly killed again.

Alfred didn't like the look of fear on Arthur's face, as his hands clutched Alfred desperately, and his face was gaunt, his body leaned out from not eating and being stressed. He was the only member of Arthur's pack; Alfred was his lover, friend, and protector.

The poor creature had been broken- Matthew had taken his world from him in one foul swoop, and he seemed unable to comprehend that Alfred was safe now, and they were together. Alfred would catch him sometimes just suckling at Alfred's skin, eyes lulling shut and body relaxing. If Alfred moved in surprise Arthur would stop almost instantly.

However, Alfred wasn't so cruel as to want Arthur to not be as comfortable as he could be.

He stroked his hair as Arthur remained still, just wanting to stay close with Alfred.

The conversation with Ivan had gone fine over the phone. Alfred roped him in to help out/visit him for the first time since they had split off in college.

The issue would be waiting, and then getting Arthur to trust Ivan the same way he trusted Alfred…if he could even do that. Arthur didn't talk, but based off the fact the end of Matthew's story was a lie; he doubted a lot of the rest of it was true.

Arthur had started to suckle the skin on Alfred's shoulder again, his eyes closing as he leaned heavily against Alfred. The human didn't flinch this time, and Arthur relaxed entirely, dropping his weight altogether. He would have toppled over save for the tight grip around his shoulders.

And Alfred let him be, Arthur's heartbeat slow, but steady, beating against Alfred's chest as a reminder that Arthur had pulled through this alive, even though he was scared. As Ivan called to tell him that he would be there shortly, Alfred decided to wrap up Arthur's upper body, and so held Arthur's upper body against his torso, before covering him with a heavy blanket, letting Arthur benefit from the extra warmth and base comfort of being in the dark with his pack mate.

Alfred knew that Arthur preferred to sleep with everything under the covers, from his tail to his head, after all. He assumed it was comforting to him, and let Arthur do as he pleased.

The door was still unlocked, and when Ivan came knocking, Alfred shouted back to come in.

It was a testament to how far gone Arthur was that he didn't react to the presence of an unfamiliar person.

"Hi, Ivan! Good to see you!" He said cheerily, the blanket covering his upper body. His old friend's eyes stared at the tail, and he looked up to Alfred, baffled.

"Goodness, Alfred." His voice was less accented than it had been in school, but it was still noticeable. "Why did you call me here? And what kind of snake is that?"

Alfred ignored the second part of the question in favor of answering the first. "He's hurt, pretty badly. Was shot twice."

Ivan stared, blinking. "Well, you remember from my pet, surely. If a snake is suffering, it is better to simply end its life." He said, firmly. "Even if-…"

Alfred cut him off. "Even if he's part human?" He said, his smile finally letting through some of his panic, pulling down the blanket to show Arthur's head, eyes closed and face pale, before he lifted the blanket a bit more to show off the part of his body where scales became skin, slowly and smoothly.

Ivan's eyes widened, and the man that had pursued the life of a surgeon's jaw dropped as it finally hit him.

"Good lord, Alfred. How do you manage to end up in these situations?" He asked, rubbing his temples lightly, and then muttered in Russian a few of the words Alfred had bothered to pick up.

"Hey! I detest that!" He shouted. "I'm not stupid! American, yes, but not stupid!"

The Russian only grinned, and then the two got to work, looking over Arthur's body.

XXXXX

"Who shot him?" Ivan asked eventually, finishing up with his look over of the injuries. "You mentioned that he's been living with you, and by his clinginess to you, I suppose that it couldn't have been you."

"…." Alfred looked away, hesitant. "It was my brother."

Purple eyes jolted back to look at him, eyebrows rising in surprise. "What?" Ivan's voice was flat, confused. "He shows up after 25 years, and he shoots the…the person living with you?"

Alfred only nodded, and Ivan let out a string of curses in Russian. "That's shit luck, Al."

"I know." He murmured, letting Arthur hang onto him, encouraging him to stay with them, stay awake. "The worst part is, I ran into him in Afghanistan…"

Ivan rubbed his temples. "You have terrible luck." He muttered, but pat Alfred's back reassuringly. "Well, unfortunately, your observations were accurate. The one in his shoulder didn't do a lot of damage. It went in and out, missed his muscles and his bones. It bled, but it'll be fine. If he were  _only_  shot there, he'd be in better shape."

"But…" Alfred continued, knowing of what Ivan was going to tell him.

"But, the one in his pelvis is lodged in a bone." Ivan confirmed. "It probably hurts like a son of a bitch, and I'm not comfortable removing it without seeing it."

"He's already in bad shape, and that wound is causing him so much stress…" Alfred murmured, his brow furrowing in worry for Arthur, who seemed oblivious to just how much danger he was in right now. Or, the worse thought was, he thought that there was no point in fighting it, since he was already a goner. "So, what do we do?" Alfred asked, hopeless, and Ivan shrugged.

"Is he…you know…able to speak?" Ivan asked, innocently, and Alfred nodded, staring down at Arthur's pale, gaunt face, and stroking his hair, kissing his forehead before nodding.

"He is. He's…he's not right now because of how much this hurts, but he can speak just fine." Alfred murmured.

"Then…certainly, he is a patient." Ivan continued, a smile playing on his lips. "And I would think he's a citizen of the US, meaning…he's guaranteed rights of confidentiality, isn't he? Well, he'd just need a name to start with."

Alfred felt relief wash over him, and he wrapped Arthur's torso up in the blanket again, keeping him in the dark of where they were going, letting Arthur leech off his warmth. Alfred didn't care, so long as he felt the beating of Arthur's heart, telling him that Arthur was still alive.

Ivan offered to drive them to his work place, the 26 year old a surgical intern, complaining about how Alfred was going to get him in trouble, but not really meaning it.

"I was wondering if you'd ever call me back." Ivan joked, and Alfred felt guilty. "You worried me, Alfred. Leaving for Afghanistan, the first time I saw you- briefly, granted- it looked like the life had been stolen out of you." He sighed. "I wasn't assigned to you, so I couldn't talk, but… Still. It's been a while."

"Of course." Alfred sighed. "I… I did miss you, Ivan. Sorry for not talking to you, and generally just being a jerk, but…" He smiled, weakly. "I didn't really know what to say."

Ivan nodded, smiling softly. "It's alright, Al. Sometimes people don't work out that way. I've gotten a boyfriend since. I more just…missed my best friend, you know? And yourself?" He asked, trying to be conversational.

Alfred went flush, feeling Arthur's mouth moving against his arm again, suckling him once more, and Ivan was floored.

"Oh." He murmured, staring. "Well, I always knew you had a thing for bestiality…" Ivan teased, and Alfred gawked.

"Do  _not_! Arthur is very much human!" He argued, even though it made Ivan laugh.

"We're here, and I imagine your boyfriend will need assistance getting inside unseen." He said, winking. "I've brought us to the ambulance entrance in the back, but I'm going to enlist the help of the other interns before my boss finds out what we're doing!"

And then the Russian was off, putting back on his coat as he left Alfred and Arthur in the backseat.

Shortly enough, a gaggle of interns had showed up at Ivan's car, clamoring to get a good look at the two interesting phenomena in the car. "So, Ivan! This is your ex!" One of them said, laughing. "No wonder, he's handsome alright!'

"We can get to talking about my ex later!" Ivan said, cheerful, and Alfred stared, shaking his head. "For now, we have a second phenomena to take care of."

He swallowed. "You guys are as crazy as he is." He muttered, looking at the gaggle of interns, and telling Arthur it was okay, it was okay, when the snake man grew upset at all the voices around him, but settled as he was squeezed by Alfred, and nuzzled his skin lightly.

"Ivan texted us while you settled him in the car!" One of them said cheerfully. "And he's never one to lie, so, we assumed that he had to be telling the truth."

"Won't your resident get mad?" Alfred asked in utter confusion, and they shrugged as they attempted to help Alfred wrestle the snake man out of the car.

"Maybe, but technically, we are doing our jobs." Another one said, voice softer than the others. "Alright…the gunshot wound is in his pelvis, be careful with the tail…"

Alfred held his torso, and Arthur held onto him tighter, whimpering beneath the blanket as he felt unfamiliar hands grabbing him. "It's alright, Art…this will only be a few minutes, then we'll be in a bed, and you can lay down." He murmured, walking with the troop of interns holding Arthur's tail and the 6 of them carrying Arthur into the hospital, and then sneaking him into an examination room, telling Alfred to set him down on the bed.

Alfred did so hesitantly, and he told them to back off for a moment, as he was going to remove the blanket. They stepped back, all ready to take a look at what Ivan had called them for help for, only 2 of them having believed Ivan's word, and the others had simply been curious about it enough to stick around. Alfred slowly pulled off the blanket, revealing the mess of blonde hair, and the human body that clung to him out of desperation and fear.

The blanket fell away, as did the artificial calm Arthur had in the darkness, pressed up against his mate, leaving him to shake and cry and clutch Alfred's clothes enough to rip them. "Alright. Meet Arthur. Can I have the blanket back?" Alfred asked, voice gentle. "I can talk about him later, but right now, he's upset and in a lot of pain. So, let's put the blanket back over us, and start figuring out how to help him."

The blanket was put back over Arthur, and he calmed again in the darkness, his brain not functioning as it did normally and letting them 'trick' him into thinking he was just was Alfred. "I think that he's fallen into some sort of…trance, almost." Alfred murmured. "He was shot 11 days ago, and he's not said anything to be since then. He might be in some kind of… survival mode, or something."

The interns got bustling around them, trying to figure out a good course of action. "He needs to have the injury looked at, an x-ray, to see where the bullet is." They said, sighing. "It's almost nightfall, meaning…the hospital will clear out of visitors, and we can get the equipment that we need."

Alfred agreed, getting to be rather tired himself, honestly. Arthur was in pain, and he needed help. So Alfred would wait to sleep until he knew that Arthur was okay, or would be okay. Quiet desperation filled Alfred's being- he  _needed_  Arthur to be okay. Arthur was sick, and his only reason for living.

Which was bad in itself, but he didn't think about how unhealthy that line of thought was, mind going back to when he was in Afghanistan in the months after Corporal Thomas' unfortunate death.

To the first time he had attempted suicide.

_They were short on staff. Where Alfred, someone who was obviously suicidal and depressed might go home at any other point in time, there simply weren't enough hands on deck to afford to lose him._

_They simply drugged him instead. The concoction of pills they had given him made the pain go away, but it made everything go away with it- suddenly nothing mattered._

_Time, people, places, thoughts, it all blurred together into a jumbled mess, until one morning Alfred had woken up in the middle of a rural town, with Afghani men asking if he was alright, if he needed someone, had he been shot, did they need to treat an injury._

_Alfred had brushed them off, looking to his empty pill bottle with a growing sense of despair in him. Alfred knew exactly the reason why he was completely out of pills. He had overdosed, purposefully trying to end the suffering. But he had lived._

_He spoke to the men in the Afghani dialect of Farsi, telling them that he needed water, and either directions or transport to the US military base._

_As they shuffled around him, one man came up to him with the water, saying he could direct him to the base, but asked Alfred very vaguely if he needed direction as well._

" _ **What does that mean**_ _?" Alfred asked, in irritation._

" _ **You wanted to die. That was why you're upset- because you did not die even though that is what you wanted to do**_ _." The Afghani man said, plainly. "_ _ **I can see the guilt in your eyes- you now have to keep living, even though you feel as though you shouldn't**_ _."_

_Alfred's voice choked up. "_ _**I-I was supposed to be in the front…not…not…** _ _."_

_The man softened for him. "_ _**The only way I can get on with what has happened in my country is knowing that God has a plan for all of us** _ _." He murmured. "_ _**You were not meant to die there, because someone else needs you** _ _."_

_Rage tore his chest open, and his heart hurt as he lashed out. "_ _**Corporal Thomas wasn't supposed to die! He had a wife, and kids! All I have for me is a brother I never knew and a father who left me before he even knew me** _ _!"_

_The man didn't let Alfred's anger get to him, though. "_ _**Maybe its someone you haven't met yet. If you truly have escaped death twice, I would say that, perhaps it has to be fate** _ _."_

The old man had called it fate. Alfred had saved many people's lives since then- Arthur, the boy's, Marshalls, and many, many others among the list. However, Alfred felt sick thinking about all those whose lives he hadn't been able to, back down to the original sin in his mind, of seeing Corporal Thomas die in front of him, only his hand making it out in a solid form. There hadn't been enough of the rest of him to bury, so his wife had what was left of him cremated.

However, his life had direction when he was working to help others. He hated himself, loathed himself, but as long as he was needed, Alfred was okay. He could manage, his personal feelings be damned.

Alfred dozed with Arthur in his arms, the strange feeling of Arthur's sucking becoming a comfort now- since it meant he was still alive, still seeking comfort from Alfred.

Suddenly, there was movement around him and Arthur, and Alfred jolted upright to protect them both from attack, but it simply turned out to be one of the interns, who hadn't wanted to wake Alfred or Arthur up as they went to go get an x-ray of Arthur's pelvis. She seemed nice enough, and he recognized her as one of the cheerful ones from earlier. Alfred let her be, checking in on Arthur and making sure his heartbeat was still nice and steady.

And so, Alfred let it go, being Arthur's rock was what the other needed of Alfred, after all. He was scared and hurt, and clinging to Alfred in fear of losing everything. Maybe Alfred clung to him for the same reason- the fear of losing everything.

XXXXX

Hours would pass, the interns would him and haw over Arthur, before they decided they needed to take the bullet out, but none of them knew the best way to do that. Arthur was still in pain, and they couldn't give him medication since they weren't authorized to give out pain pills.

It pissed him off, so much. These people, yeah, they were trying, but Arthur was still in pain, because of what Matthew had done- because Alfred hadn't been able to protect him.

And Alfred was tired, and Arthur was run ragged, a cough starting in his chest and a fever starting in his body- infection coming to finish the job Matthew had started.

"Either get something done, or let me and Arthur go home so that he can die in comfort." Alfred growled, hiding how he was on the verge of tears. "We've been here 24 hours, and nothing has changed except for how comfortable he is, and the confirmation that the bullet, is in fact, stuck in his pelvis."

The interns gaped at Alfred, gripping Arthur close to him, and Ivan looked upset as well. Alfred was pissed- he didn't look that way unless he had been driven to the limit. And he had.

"What is going on in here?" A new voice came in, and though the interns stammered, Alfred  _glared_  at the intruder, shoulders rising in determination to protect Arthur.

"Doctor…Doctor Vargas…" One of them spoke up, licking their lips nervously. "W-we…"

Their resident was a jovial looking man as he realized that there were people in the patient beds. "You were helping someone!" He said, brightening. "Man, I hope they're not criminals! What's the problem?"

"A-Ah…." The cheerful one, Elizabeta, Alfred had overheard at some point, coughed.

"The other one of them got shot in two places." Roderich explained. "It's not that they're illegal, it's more of a matter of what the person who got shot is."

"I am no racist." Doctor Vargas said instantly, the man shocked by his words. "What is that supposed to mean, Doctor Edelstein?"

"What he means is, the one who got shot isn't precisely human." Ivan said, instantly.

And now Doctor Vargas looked exceptionally confused. "Not human? Than why isn't he at a vet instead of a hospital? Young man, explain yourself." The Doctor turned to Alfred, shaking in anger, before Arthur whimpered softly, his breath hot against Alfred's skin. "H-hot…." Arthur whimpered, the first words he had spoken since being shot, and Alfred froze, as did everyone else in the room.

He looked at Doctor Vargas, before gently lowering the blanket around Arthur's head, to let the feverish creature have access to the cold air.

"Alright. That most certainly is a human." Doctor Vargas said, voice dangerous. "And by withholding treatment, you have violated dozens of rules, and could be prosecuted, as well as…"

"He-He's not, fully human." Alfred said, quickly, looking away from the inquisitive, baffled gaze, as he kissed Arthur's forehead, and lifted the blanket that covered where his tail and skin met, the tail hanging off to the side of the room that Doctor Vargas couldn't see.

"Oh. Oh my." He said, eyes wide. "That's why…. oh."

"Yeah." Roderich said, rubbing his temples.

XXXXX

Doctor Vargas was much more skilled in getting them what they needed. They moved Arthur to a different room, where he was given a dose of antibiotics to help with the growing infection, and kept under so that he didn't lash out at anyone.

"I'll be removing the bullet today." The man-Caesar- explained to Arthur and Alfred, even though Arthur couldn't understand him.

And then it happened, the bullet was removed, and the snake man's pain dissipated, leaving him sprawled on the bed, and exhausted. The cause of constant pain had finally been taken out, and Arthur simply passed out after that.

"Poor thing." Caesar said with a small smile. "And you, son? What are you, to him?" He asked, making small conversation as he stitched up the bullet wound, having had to remove all the scabbing and scar tissue in order to get at the bullet.

"I'm a war vet." Alfred said, voice low. "I studied psych and linguistics. I met Arthur in the Middle East, and took him with me. He… he has a hard time trusting people, and I can't help but feel Matthew…Matthew destroyed him."

"Was Matthew the one that shot him?" Caesar asked, concerned, and Alfred nodded. "Why?"

Alfred hadn't thought about Matthew, except to curse him out mentally. "W-well…"

He thought on that, confused. How had Matthew known to come?

And then the information seemed to click.

When asked who was keeping him in the psych ward, they had told him it was his brother.

_"Well. I…I told my dad that…that once I was home from Afghanistan, that I would…get in contact with you."_

Oh my god.

Matthew Williams, the medical student in Afghanistan…Was the brother Alfred had never known.

"Well, you look upset…" Caesar said, softly. "Get some rest, I'll be sending in food later with my stupid interns. Proper food, even, for all the B.S. they put you two through!" He joked, before walking off.

Alfred had a lot to think about, but he decided to follow Caesar's words, and relax, letting exhaustion overtake him.


	4. Human Rehabilitation

When Arthur woke up, he felt like absolute shit. His mind, groggy, his body sore, his throat dry, his stomach hungry, but, his mate was asleep underneath him, the smell wonderfully familiar in the darkness, closing his eyes and indulging in the scent of his beloved for a little while longer.

After some time, he heard Alfred's voice, though the sound was muffled, he could pick out some words. " _Been sleeping for a while…. needs it."_

Had it been a while…? Arthur couldn't tell. Everything in his mind was so…so muddled at the moment. He didn't remember what had happened, but it was okay. Alfred was beneath him, protecting him, as Arthur relaxed in the darkness.

" _Man, he's sure been sleeping for a while!"_  An unfamiliar voice came through his world again, and Arthur tried to figure out what was going on.

" _You would be too, if you had that happen to you, plus all the pain medication we gave him…I would be asleep too."_ That was Alfred, and Arthur was suddenly unsure of what was going on. Pain medication…? What…?

Arthur squirmed, thoughts pushing hard enough through the fog to remember.

Matthew, a gun, and pain, pain, pain, Alfred had been gone, and he…he…

He couldn't remember, which wasn't good either, but he slipped away again, closing his eyes and letting himself rest.

His eyes opened at the sound of loud laughter, and he groaned in annoyance at the sound, frowning hard and gripping Alfred tighter. The voices had gone silent, and then light poked through the comforting darkness- Arthur hissed at it. Familiar blue eyes watched him with humor, and Alfred only chuckled, smiling at him.

"Hey, Art. Welcome back to the land of the living." Alfred's voice gave away his grin even though Arthur wasn't looking all that hard- but it was hard to mask the worry on his face. Arthur blinked at him, before gripping his shirt and laying his head back down on his chest, groaning again as he tried to make a coherent sentence.

"I…I feel like I got hit by a car…or something." Arthur's words slurred together, but he was speaking, and Alfred's laughter reverberated in his chest, making Arthur smile lightly.

With a hand in his hair, and another on his back, Arthur started to purr, but then Alfred spoke. "Do ya mind if I pull the blanket away. The people who saved our asses wanna see you now that you're…Well, yourself."

Arthur paused. Oh. Right, he was under…something. The darkness was comforting, the smell of his mate and pack filling the air, and it was nice. It was starkly better than…something that wasn't really remembered, so much as felt, a core nerve struck by something harsh and bitter.

The naga blinked again, his brain feeling slow before he agreed. "Sure, but…do not crowd me." He said, voice soft, gripping Alfred tighter in fright of what might be coming for him.

Alfred lifted the blanket, and Arthur immediately attempted to hide himself in the human's chest, as there were certainly new people in the room. "Stay back, kay? He's nice, but easy to frighten."

And nothing else came, except for his mate's comforting hand in his hair. No one reached out to touch him, or try to take Alfred from him. There was quiet, and Arthur allowed himself to sit up a bit, and look around. There was an older man, who smiled at him, and a few younger people as well, mostly around Alfred's age, he suspected.

"But yeah, Arthur, you gave me a good scare." Alfred said, with a slow smile.

Arthur tried to think back, as to what happened, and he suddenly remembered. "Alfred! You're back!" He said, shouting, and Alfred laughed a bit, though the sound was almost…hollow.

"Yeah, bud. I've been with you this whole time, well…apart from those 10 days, but since then! I've been with you the rest of that time!" Alfred was bright, but again, there was something fake in his happiness.

"10 days…?" He murmured in confusion, rubbing his temples. "God…I barely remember anything…" He flinched, gripping tighter to Alfred as his head ached. "You weren't…doing so well after that thing in the bathroom…" He looked up at Alfred. "Matthew called the home phone…and…"

He paused, blinking furiously as he tried to recollect what had happened through his throbbing temples, as the people around Alfred gave his mate a strange look.

"What thing in the bathroom?" The tallest one asked, suspiciously looking at Alfred, and his human looked rather nervous, and though he attempted to speak, he seemed to be unable to find the words.

"H-he…" Arthur sighed. "I don't know what it was he was doing. I don't have a way of processing why he did it… I suppose my survival instincts are closer to the surface? Either way…he had passed out, and I told Matthew to come, after he had called… I didn't know why Alfred had been in the bathroom, but he…you…you said some scary things, Alfred." His voice was quiet. "And then you passed out."

The tall one was staring at him, before nodding, almost in resignation, before looking to the side- seeming to have solved something- though what, Arthur had no clues to. The others kept staring at him, and so Arthur continued.

"Matthew came. He didn't seem to like me much." Arthur growled at the memory. "I doubt he thought I was anything but your  _pet_ , Alfred. Kept talking down to me, I didn't justify some of his claims with refutes. It was rather annoying…"

Arthur paused, his head aching more. "Ugh… He-He mentioned that if you didn't wake by sunrise, he would take you to the hospital…I was fine with that at first, since I can't well take care of a human. I can barely look after myself with no pack around…"

His head was pounding. "But, as time passed, you…you were getting worse, you wouldn't wake up…and I was scared for you. When you're sick, you need to stay together. When you stayed with me, I felt better, surely the opposite was true, as well?" Arthur closed his eyes, trying to ignore how badly it hurt.

"But- but…."

He gasped at the memory, his mate being ripped away from him, Matthew pulling out the gun on him- His pack was in danger! Arthur couldn't let the threat take his pack away! And…and then…

Pain. Despair. Hatred. Loneliness.

And then, nothing.

And Arthur's grip was tight on Alfred, fear hollowing out any warmth in his body and hastening his breathing, and Arthur was shaking, but he felt Alfred's arms around him, cradling him, kissing his forehead and telling him it was all okay now. He was okay. Arthur was safe, Alfred was safe- they were just fine.

Slowly, he allowed himself to calm down, nuzzling Alfred's chest, soft noises coming from himself, and he had the awareness to be embarrassed at the display, as there were many unfamiliar faces surrounding him.

"But…" Arthur said, collecting the courage to finish his story. "I-I suppose I had frightened him, somehow…and he…he shot me." The naga gulped. "I don't remember all that clearly, I, I was afraid, so afraid. He had pulled a gun out of nowhere; I hadn't realized he-he saw me as a threat. And he was taking Alfred from me, after having shot me, and I was scared. What would he do with my mate if he had done this to me? I know he was taking him to get help, but reason had gone out the door with the first bullet…"

He shivered. "And he shot me again, and I couldn't sit up after that, it hurt so bad…I couldn't move, I had to watch him take my mate away from me… and after that…I…I can't remember. I know that I was in a lot of pain, and I was upset…but I don't…."

Alfred stopped him with a gentle hand rubbing his shoulder, smiling. "Hey, Arthur…shhh…it's fine." Green eyes that had become foggy were drawn back up to Alfred's blue, and Arthur caved, leaning into him tearfully.

"Man, Arthur." The older man said, voice soft. "That sounds scary. Well, what I can tell you, is that from that point on, according to Alfred, he was in a hospital, and wasn't allowed to leave for 10 days…and then, he brought you to us. It's not quite 3 weeks since you were shot, at around 19 days since the accident. I'm Caesar, your doctor, and you're very, very lucky to be alive right now." The man introduced, holding his hand out to Arthur.

Arthur stared at it,  _hadn't Matthew been a doctor doctors were bad not trustworthy not trustworthy_ , before Alfred sighed. "It's alright, Caesar, he's…he's never been good meeting new people…" Alfred's hand had left Arthur's neck, and Arthur scowled.

"Don't speak for me." Arthur grumbled as he let himself sit up fully, his body still aching. "Humans, for the most part, tend to assume I'm just a stupid animal. Or perhaps they delude themselves into thinking that… Either way.  _Humans_  named me Arthur, after all, and I learnt everything about them from you and the researchers that had me before. If I counted all humans to be like Matthew, or the ones in that godforsaken place with the glass case, why on Earth would I have trusted you, Alfred?"

Everyone in the room looked surprised at the outburst, and Arthur scowled, before holding his hand out for Caesar to shake. "It's fine. Yes, I might get  _nervous_  because of base instinctual reactions, but I am no wilting flower. So, thank you very much, Caesar."

Suddenly, one of the younger people scoffed. "It's nice to see someone take down loverboy." They joked, and the air of the room was lightened suddenly with laughter.

Alfred had a weird expression on his face, and Arthur ignored it for the moment, in favor of letting humans ask him questions, and try to desensitize himself to their presence as much as he could.

XXXXX

Questions went on for hours, and Caesar told Arthur that he was going to stay for another night for observation.

That night, Arthur had gotten into bed again, and though he had been nervous about his human deciding not to come to bed again, he tried to suck it up, and curled up under the covers.

The door opened, and because Arthur was mostly asleep, he tensed in response.

"So, you were raised in a lab?" Alfred's voice pierced the darkness, making Arthur grumbled in displeasure. Obviously he had figured out he was awake because of his tensing, but hadn't thought to knock or anything to calm his nerves. Arthur mostly focused on not shaking too horribly, not really able to stop tensing.

"Why didn't you come earlier? I was waiting for you…" He muttered from beneath the covers, making Alfred chuckle.

"Sorry, Art." The voice was filled with a light humor, and Arthur felt Alfred sit down on the edge of the bed. "But…you were raised in a lab?" The human went right back to the point, and Arthur sighed.

"Yes. I was." He admitted tentatively.

Silence filled the room.

Alfred was looking at him; Arthur knew it without moving- he felt the accusing stare on his body well enough.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alfred sounded hurt, and Arthur didn't know why.

He fumbled for words, for explanations. "I don't know." He finally settled on. "I suppose…that I could let it go, forget the past…"

"Why would you need to?" Alfred asked, confused, hurt, and Arthur's stomach fell, the naga curling on himself in response to the stress building up inside of him.

After struggling with his words for what felt like an eternity, Arthur finally answered. "Alfred, surely you must realize that the greater part of my life has been far from pleasant…is it so bad to just…let something go?"

He finally pulled himself out of the blanket, to find blue eyes staring at him, on the edge of tears.

"A-Arthur…" Alfred hiccupped, upset and trying not to show it. "H-how…do you just let it go…?"

His human was strange, and Arthur didn't know or understand what was going on with him in terms of mental state, but he knew that he was upset, and so opened his arms to him, pulling the man into a tight hug.

"I don't know, Alfred." He sighed. "I…I suppose that I just do. I don't even dream…any neurological problems mostly just limit my ability to speak or think properly…" He sighed. "I don't know why I can just let it go. Just like I don't know why you…" He stopped.

"I don't know why you did that…" Arthur looked away, pain and hurt and betrayal building in his chest. "Or, why you almost did that."

Alfred tensed this time, and Arthur couldn't find the will to look at him.

"So-so, if you're going to ask questions about my past, I say that I get to ask questions about you, too." Arthur stumbled over his demand, but he firmed back up, refusing to back down.

Alfred laughed a bit, completely taken left field by Arthur, but nodded with a small smile, before nervousness took back his human, and he seemed to withdrawal.

"You start, Art." Alfred grinned a bit, but it didn't last. The human's face crumpled once more. "I already asked you one question."

"What do you dream about?" Arthur asked, curious, a hand pressing softly on Alfred's shoulder.

"Why…gee, Arthur…you know how to pick 'em…" He laughed, nervous. "Well, they're not, dreams…they're nightmares- a-and nightmares…well. Some people say that they bring up your worst fears like falling, or being late to an exam or something…mine are mostly just memories."

"Of what?" Arthur asked, before Alfred pressed a finger to his mouth.

When Arthur grew frustrated, Alfred simply laughed. "I said a question, not many questions. My turn." Arthur frowned, but Alfred's small smile seemed a bit more genuine in light of the game. So Arthur let him get away with it.

"Hmmm…" Alfred seemed thoughtful. "What was it like, growing up in a lab?"

"Boring." Arthur said, instantly. "My turn." He tried to get back to the point, and Alfred just laughed at his quick answer, but shook his head.

"Gotta be a word minimum. Over 10 words, alright?" Alfred said, wanting to hear more about Arthur. And the naga sighed, before continuing dutifully.

"It was boring. I was among others like me, but… we were locked in a room together, tested on, treated like dumb creatures." Arthur paused, looking down and clenching his hands together at the thought. "We weren't."

Alfred looked thoughtfully at him, before sighing. "Well, that sucks… but now it's your turn."

"What memories do you have nightmares about?" Arthur immediately asked, making the easygoing smile leave Alfred's face.

His human paused, sorrow creeping in from the edges of his face, settling into creases that weren't meant to be on the face of someone so typically happy.

"Well… war, I suppose." He murmured. "You had to have realized that I was a soldier, yeah?" He grinned, and Arthur nodded.

"The purpose escapes me, though. Why were you fighting?"

Alfred answered honestly. "If I knew that, I imagine the nightmares wouldn't come as frequently."

Arthur didn't protest when he said it was his turn to ask the question, and asked how Arthur had gotten his name.

"Was it your mom?" He asked, and his look was hopeful, but it grated on Arthur's nerves."

"No, she never gave me a name. The humans working in the lab did, though. I tried to talk to the humans- I said my name- I knew it was mine because they would only use it when they pointed at me…but…they never spoke around me again." He sighed. "Mum never really…she…she was…" He sighed, agitated. "She had given up hope long before I was even born, didn't talk much, even in our own language- didn't look after me much either. My brothers told me not to hold it against her, that she was essentially breeding stock, but as you can see, bitterness is still there."

Alfred looked surprised at the amount of agitation Arthur had balled up inside of him, and so only rubbed the naga's back, reassuringly. Telling Arthur he could ask another question.

"You never told me what you have nightmares about. Don't just say war. I know there's something specific in your mind…but you… you've never told me what."

After Arthur's admittance of his mother's shitty behavior as a kid, and the frustration he had with being treated like an animal- willingly so, as well… Alfred gave in.

"There is…indeed, one memory that troubles me more than any of the others." Alfred looked to the side. "Something I can't get over…"

"Well, what is it?" Arthur asked, trying to be gentle since he knew this was a delicate subject, but finding it hard because Alfred was being so frustrating.

"When…when I first joined the army, I was put into a man's care, essentially. Corporal Thomas, we called him, though it was mostly Tommy when he was off-duty. He…he had a wife at home, his daughter was about to turn 4, and his son was born only a year before…" Alfred's expression crumpled. "T-the car I was driving…it stalled as we were leaving. So Corporal Thomas drove on ahead…he…he only had a week until he would be home… he'd get home on the day of his daughters birthday. It was all he talked about, to remind us of why we were there- for the people at home. My…my mom had been dead for some time, so I…I told myself I was fighting for them too. For them to see the daughter, the son, and his wife…dad, again…by fighting, I was fighting for them."

Alfred took in a deep breath. "He-he drove in front, over the bomb in the ground. It exploded, right in front of me, and my car was thrust backwards…I was one of 3 people who survived that accident, out of 10 people who had left that day. 2 people in my car were killed instantly after the explosion by gunfire, before the other two managed to shoot back…"

"I wasn't in good shape…at all." He admitted quietly. "They got me out of the car, but…I saw Corporal Thomas's hand- just his hand, sprawled on the ground. I could tell it was his because…because of the wedding ring." Alfred choked. "He wasn't supposed to die. I was."

Arthur was confused, and he merely hugged Arthur tighter. "Alfred…it wasn't your fault he died…surely, you realize. You didn't place the bomb, and you didn't tell him to drive in front. He died because of outside forces…"

The human stiffened in his arms, tearing up, before Arthur continued. "Alfred- he died and that's terrible. But he died, and you lived, and you were the one to save me…and I know you did good for your friends as well." Arthur soothed. "What would another have done in your place, upon finding me? Kill me? Send me back to a lab? Leave me to die?" Arthur shook his head. "You're a good man, Alfred, and you didn't deserve to die no more than he did. It happened, and he's gone, and you're here. And I'm happy you're here, and I know others are too."

Alfred at first paused, and sniffled suspiciously, before he broke down, and started to cry. "A-Arthur…" He sobbed, the tears unable to stop. "Please…tell me what to do… I don't know anymore- you don't need me anymore…the fact I can help people is what has kept me going."

"You can help a lot of people still." Arthur said, gentle. "By staying alive. Alfred, you're a wonderful human, and this world is better for having you."

His beloved seemed shocked at this, and Arthur took the time to gather him up and nuzzle him. "You friends looked up to you, listened to you, valued you…I value you too, Alfred…"

At some point in the cuddling, Alfred had jerkily moved to hug Arthur back once more.

XXXXX

The next day had Alfred taking Arthur home, the naga slightly more worried about the drive now that he was completely conscious and aware of what was going on.

"I'm glad I've never been conscious enough to feel this before." Arthur growled lowly, making Alfred laugh good-naturedly.

"It's not too bad, Art. Just get with the program." He grinned. "I've driven you countless places- heck, there was a part where you  _flew_."

Arthur went pale, clearly frightened and amazed with the revelation, gulping as he curled on the floor of the car in a desperate motion to get closer to the ground. Alfred only laughed again, patting Arthur's hair from the front seat.

"It's alright, Arthur. I promise that this is totally safe. I wouldn't have driven you around so much while you were hurt if it wasn't." Alfred cajoled the naga.

Arthur stared suspiciously. "But…didn't you mention that your friend died in a car because of a bomb? Won't we be bombed!?" He asked, in panic, simply making Alfred laugh, a bit less loudly.

"That was in Afghanistan, Art- its another country, literally on the other side of the world. I promise, you're safe."

"But what if!?" Arthur came back, and Alfred sighed, having to keep explaining as time went on, more than happy to have an amicable atmosphere with Arthur now that the snake man was safe and seemed relatively happy.

Arthur had told Ivan everything, and Ivan had confronted Alfred, who had agreed to go to week therapy sessions as well, to make Ivan feel better. Well, maybe it was also because Alfred knew that he wasn't okay. But that was a revelation for another day.

Alfred parked in the garage, and went to go help Arthur get inside, the snake man seeming somewhat off, distracted, as Alfred gripped his torso and dragged him inside.

The snake man grew content as he settled himself into Alfred's familiar bed, rubbing his face and body against it to familiarize himself with the smell once more, Alfred laughing quietly as he left him there for the moment, going around to turn on the lights in the house, make sure nothing had gone missing or anything.

As Alfred was walking around, however, he heard the door unlocking, and opening.

And then Matthew came inside the house, looking rather bedraggled.

The two froze as they caught the other's gaze, before they simultaneously looked away from each other. "He…he lived, didn't he?" Matthew asked, voice soft, and Alfred nodded mutely. "Well…that's…that's good." He breathed out, looking at Alfred quietly, but the veteran didn't give him anything in terms of facial expression.

Arthur was still in his bedroom, and Alfred subtly walked between the hall that would lead to the room and Matthew.

"Do you know what happened?" Matthew asked, voice soft, and Alfred snorted, angry- the words having the opposite of their desired effect.

"Oh yeah. When he woke up after weeks of being semi-conscious and in a serious amount of pain, he told me exactly what had happened. You misinterpreted his actions, and pulled a gun on him."

"Just as a gesture to tell him to back off!" Matthew argued, and Alfred rolled his eyes.

"Dude, you have to realize, as a goddamned soldier, I know that the only time people point a gun at you is when they're  _entirely_  serious about shooting you. It's why I do  _not_  support gun rights. I know how to handle a gun, you, don't- Mr. Civilian. Which is precisely why Arthur nearly died."

Matthew didn't know what to say to that, and Alfred nodded, feeling like his point had been proven. "You scared the shit out of him, and then expected him to act like a human. We know he doesn't always react like a human. Threaten his life and take the only person he trusts? He phrased it as his reason flying out the window."

The medical student buckled under the pressure. "Alfred…I didn't want us to find each other like this."

Alfred softened, refusing to look at him still. "I figured that out too. We're brothers, aren't we?" He muttered, staring pointedly at the wall.

"Yeah." Matthew nodded. "Dad…dad gave me your guy's phone number, and reminded me to make good on my promise. To get in touch with you and mom after I got back from Afghanistan. What about mom? Isn't this her house?"

The veteran froze. He went to look at Matthew, before he forced himself to look away.

"She died a long time ago, Matthew. I was 18."

His brother looked shocked. "Sh-she's…she's dead?" He asked, confused, hurt, and unable to understand. "But…"

"Matthew, all I know about our father is that he's a piece of shit." Alfred growled, before sighing, letting out a bunch of hot air, and resentment. "But yeah. She got sick, when I was in high school, and it was only a little after I graduated that she finally succumbed. I didn't ever hear anything from him, other than that goddamned Christmas letter with no information in it, other than to say Merry Christmas. So. I stopped opening them." Alfred shook his head, pain clenching in his stomach. "I didn't ever want to meet either of you, to be honest. It would be easier to blame you both for her death, then."

Matthew stared at him, and nodded, gulping. "Right… Dad…never told me much about her. I really wanted to know her." The medical student took another step forward. "With that said, though…it's stupid, to not…not at least try to get to know one another. Our parents fucked up, so what? We're not our parents."

"No, you fucked up all on your own." Alfred remarked, and made Matthew flinch.

"Please." Matthew's voice was hard, desperate.

"How long have you been sitting out there?" Alfred asked. "Because you had to be watching me from somewhere to know I was here."

A small, crooked grin found its way on Matthew's face. "You're right. I've been sitting out in my car for a few weeks. You…you had a spare key, so I nabbed it in order to get back inside."

Alfred sighed, irritated, but nodded. "Fine. I'll. I'll give you another chance." He said, huffing. "But if you so much as look at Arthur wrong- ever again, I will not even hesitate to throw your pasty ass out on the porch. Understand?" He growled, giving Matthew a deadly serious look, and Matthew nodded hurriedly. "Right! Okay, okay."

And then Alfred left him in the den, going back to his bedroom to be with Arthur, who had likely overheard his conversation. He would have to talk with Arthur as well, of course…but…well. He'd find a way to make it work.

After all, he figured he owed his only two living family members something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, this needs 1 more chapter to really tie everything up. I hope you enjoyed this so far!!


	5. Human Heart

Arthur wasn't happy with this decision, but Alfred hadn't really expected him to be.

But he also  _hadn't_  expected Arthur to essentially go incognito within 10 seconds of Matthew stepping into the house.

"He's hiding." Alfred said, dumbly as he stared at the empty room where Arthur had been only moments before, and Matthew snorted.

"Yes, he's good at that, I hope you've realized." His twin said, awkwardly. "Maybe if I leave, and then come back…?" He asked, before shaking his head. "No, that wouldn't work, since he'd leave the moment I walked in the door…"

Alfred was rather inclined to agree, and it was entirely obvious as to why Arthur was hesitant around Matthew, only having just recovered from being  _shot_ \- and Alfred didn't precisely blame the man either. "Well, we'll have to wait for him to come out then." Alfred said, loudly. "Not that I'd let you hurt him, Matthew."

"Of course, Alfred." Matthew picked up on his scheme, his voice just as unnecessarily loud. "I am very sorry for hurting Arthur, you should know!"

The two went quiet, and Matthew looked around, uncomfortable.

"Would you like a cup of coffee, or something?" Alfred asked, and Matthew nodded, relieved that the gesture had been extended to him.

XXXXX

Coffee was tense, and it was clear Alfred was distracted with worry for Arthur.

Matthew didn't fault him for it, since it was his own fault that Arthur was afraid of him. "Go find him." He said, unsure of himself, but wanting to at least try and help the situation. "I'll stay put…"

Alfred's body relaxed altogether, and nodded slowly. "Right, right…I'm going to get him."

He walked around, calling softly to Arthur to figure out where he was. He went around to all of Arthur's favorite hidey-holes, but he didn't find him anywhere Arthur typically enjoyed resting in.

He didn't get dissuaded, though. He had to figure out where Arthur was, lest Arthur get the wrong message about Matthew's presence. Matthew was here to try and make things right, and Arthur was afraid… and potentially, despite how Alfred didn't want to think about it, aggressive.

When Arthur was put under stress, he was prone to reverting to more animalistic urges. This was seen when Arthur had attacked him in Afghanistan, when Arthur had leapt at Matthew despite how he was already injured, when Arthur had simply stopped talking when he had been injured and hadn't reacted to outside influences as long as he was kept under a blanket and hadn't seen anything…

So Alfred took a piece of his own knowledge, and grabbed a thick quilt to throw over when he did encounter Arthur.

He kept walking around, and calling to Arthur, before he heard a sharp hissing as he walked past the broom closet- a place Arthur generally avoided. He tossed open the door, and threw the quilt on top of the source of the noise.

It was Arthur, who had stopped moving, stopped hissing, the moment he was covered.

"There you are." Alfred said, voice soft. "It's okay, Arthur…" He murmured, gently picking up the snake man, and wrapping his arms around where the snake man was covered by the blanket. He felt Arthur relax against him, his lover purring as he recognized the familiar scent of Alfred. The sound made Alfred chuckle lightly, rubbing Arthur's back slowly. "Man, you scare me sometimes, I hope you know. One of these days, I swear, we'll get you to stop hiding out like this…you're gonna hurt me or something…"

Alfred was more just talking to himself, albeit conversationally, inviting Arthur to speak, however it seemed to fall on deaf ears, since Arthur was still purring and hanging onto him.

He ended up wrapping Arthur's entire human half in the blanket, to try and make this easier on him. It seemed to be the rule that Arthur was calmed by the darkness, so long it was in the presence of Alfred, or on his own terms. That worked in Alfred's favor, and he wound up carrying Arthur right on back to their bedroom, setting the bundle down on the bed, before he uncovered him.

He had noticed it before, but there was this sort of  _face_  that Arthur would make when he was calmed forcibly. He would go completely lax, eyes half-lidded and his pupil dilated fully, so that the green was barely there, and a small smile playing on the edges of his lips.

And he did realize that he was  _forcing_  Arthur to calm down. It felt…Well- both good and bad, to do it, for a multitude of reasons. It was bad, obviously, since he was  _controlling_  Arthur to some extent. It was a nice thing to be able to fall back on, since Arthur could be dangerous. He wasn't always, and he was always sorry when he wound up hurting Alfred…but that didn't mean he wasn't capable of killing Alfred. It would be an accident, but… it was a nice contingency plan. It was also kind of arousing, since it felt vaguely like hypnosis, but Alfred's strange kinks for control aside…

"Arthur…?" Alfred wound up saying, seeing as Arthur hadn't snapped out of it, and the snake man blinked slowly, before blinking a little faster.

"Mmm…?" He mumbled, leaning on Alfred and not seeming to want to snap out of it. "Mate…alpha…mate…" Arthur mumbled, his voice thick. "Mine…won' let…. take…." The snake man nuzzled him again. " _Mine_ …" He started to suckle on Alfred's skin again, eyes still half-lidded, and Alfred laughed entirely out of surprise.

"Goodness." Alfred said, shaking his head and stroking Arthur's hair sweetly. "I'm not going anywhere, and I'm definitely yours, just like you're mine."

Arthur nodded, having closed his eyes, appeased by Alfred's words.

"Have you found him?" Matthew said, from outside the bedroom, making Arthur's eyes widen in shock and hiss in fear, his nails digging into Alfred's skin as he was dragged out of the trance like state, straight back into aggressiveness.

"A-ah…damn, Arthur." He grunted in pain, putting the quilt over the creature's head again, making Arthur still and release him again. He wrapped his arm around the man, glaring at the door a bit. "I did, Matthew…" He agreed, before sighing. "Want to leave, for a minute? I need to talk to him…"

Matthew's footsteps slowly faded, and Alfred took the quilt off Arthur's head, the naga looking disoriented with the quickness of the change. He smiled at him, sheepish. "Man, you don't like that, do you?" He stated, letting Arthur lean on him even as the creature swayed unsteadily, dazed.

"Ah…Ah… Alfred…?" He whispered, his voice distant, and Alfred held him still, suddenly worried with how  _sick_  Arthur looked. The naga leaned against him, looking green in a way that Alfred associated with illness rather than his scales.

He stroked the man's back, trying to figure out what was wrong. "It's alright, it's alright…" He murmured, letting Arthur groan and grip him. "What is it?" He asked, gripping his head when Arthur drooped to the side.

"I 'unno…." Arthur groaned, holding him tighter, shaking and closing his eyes. "'Eel  _weird_ …"

Alfred didn't quite know what was going wrong, but something was definitely wrong. He kissed Arthur's forehead, hugging him closer. "It's okay…just…stay still, for now, okay?" He said, setting him down on the bed, petting his forehead. "I love you, just stay put, I'm going to…to…" He didn't know. He didn't know what he would be doing; he didn't know how to help Arthur.

He went stock still, and froze. "God…god…" He murmured, "I don't know what to do, Arthur…you're…" His chest tightened, and his heart felt constricted in beating.

"Alfred?" Matthew's voice came through his panic soft, and concerned. "What's wrong?"

"I…" Arthur had just…. looked  _terrible_  all of a sudden, and they didn't know what was wrong, and Alfred felt like he was failing him. He had just gotten him home, what was wrong? What was  _wrong_?

He didn't know when Matthew had come in, and was gently rubbing Arthur's forehead, trying to figure out what was going on with the man. Alfred was still frozen, but Matthew smiled at him, telling him that Arthur was going to be just fine.

"What's wrong with him?" Alfred asked, upset and concerned, and Matthew rubbed Alfred's back.

"Well, back in Afghanistan, when you were still on active duty, we discovered that Arthur had a few quirks left over from whoever had…well, back then, we assumed whoever had  _made_ him, but now we know that it's actually who was holding him." Matthew gently rubbed Arthur's neck, the snake man bending to his will and showing his jugular, green eyes. "Among those seemed to be something along the lines of hypnosis, and the other was a series of strange reactions to a lot of anesthetics. He went to the hospital, so by all likelihood, they activated some of those while he was being treated, and the withdrawal has left him like this…well, on a few occasions."

"Why didn't you use it when you were treating him?" He asked, and Matthew sighed.

"It made him sick, plus…there were horrific moral implications, since he didn't even understand  _English_ , let alone could he understand if we started constantly controlling him…." Matthew looked away. "It didn't sit with me well, at all."

"It seemed to sit with you just fine to shoot him." Alfred piped up, and Matthew glared.

"He attacked you, Alfred." He murmured. "When he gets aggressive, Arthur is potentially deadly. I know he meant to tear your throat out." Matthew sighed again. "I don't want to fight over it, either. I came in since I recognized this- Francis and I discovered these effects unintentionally, and it worried us too. Just let him sleep it off, and he'll wake up right as rain. Well, maybe a bit confused…but otherwise unharmed."

Alfred nodded, gently stroking Arthur's hair, despite how the naga looked completely out of it and sickly. "Alright. Well, I'll…" He swallowed thickly, just noticing that he was still shaking, despite everything.

"Alfred, go to bed." Matthew said, quickly. "You've missed a few appointments yourself- don't lie and say you haven't… I won't put you back in, but…please, get some rest."

Alfred stared, before he nodded, breathing out with a big shudder. Matthew stood, and grabbed a few blankets, smiling weakly at his twin, before setting them on Alfred's shoulders.

Alfred stared a moment longer, before laying on his side, and curl up to Arthur, who looked incredibly out of it. He smiled, and nuzzled his lover, before letting himself completely pass out.

XXXXX

Alfred woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking, and the feel of his lover nuzzled close to his chest, eyes closed, but looking considerably better. He yawned, running a hand through Arthur's hair, before sitting up and setting Arthur to the side.

"Man, that smells great, Matt." Alfred said, walking into the kitchen with the same clothes he had whenever he had gone to sleep, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Thanks." Matthew accepted the compliment, smiling up at Alfred, before turning back to where he was cooking pancakes and bacon. "By the way, you got a letter in the mail from someone." He pointed out. "It's been almost 24 hours since you fell asleep, but you looked like you needed it."

Alfred laughed nervously, but nodded, rubbing his forehead. "Man…" He took the letter, sitting down before ripping off the top. He went silent, staring at the letter quietly.

"What is it?" Matthew said as he walked over, setting a plate of pancakes down in front of Alfred, frowning.

"I-I've been subpoenaed…" He stuttered absently, reading the letting quickly, over and over. "I've been subpoenaed, because, o-one of the members of my first platoon is on trial for illegal drug use…" He ran his fingers over the name, and his breath hitched. "He's on trial for illegal drug use." Alfred repeated, before closing his eyes, and remembering.

" _Leave him!" Another voice was screaming- though not at Alfred. "He wants to die, than let him! We_ _ **need**_ _to get out of the open!"_

_It had been Private Carlos, a Cuban immigrant serving in the American Army, who had shouted at him so._

_Lieutenant Toris, whose last name was too hard to pronounce because of his origins in Lithuania, had ensured Alfred's survival, forcing the younger man to stand and keep going. The three of them had been the only survivors._

_Carlos had always been a bit of a trouble child, especially in relation to Alfred. He felt like Alfred was too gung-hoe about a lot of their activities, and the two had never really gotten along. Carlos had taken a lot of the anger after the attack out on Alfred, who had lost all the life in him._

" _Why'd the nut's car get lucky and the corporal's car get blown to bits?" Carlos had said, the three of them sitting together, Toris holding a near lifeless Alfred up as he waited for a rescue vehicle._

" _Never mind the fact that both you and I were in his car, then." Toris had mumbled angrily, and Alfred had stared, hopelessly, at nothing._

" _I mean! Corporal Thomas wouldn't be like this!" He said, loudly, and Toris shivered._

" _We don't know how Thomas would be because he's dead." The Lieutenant reminded him sharply. "And I think the guilt of living when they didn't has left its scar on all of it,_ _ **Private**_ _\- I know what you smoke in your off duty time. So Alfred's jumped off the deep end mentally. Big deal. It's not like any of the three of us are getting home any time soon, are we? We just have to fucking survive, so drop it."_

_Alfred had barely flinched, knowing it to be full true, and not having the agency or the will to respond. His pills had taken what had been left of his will to live._

_Toris and Carlos and him had been put in another platoon, but it was obvious to anyone that they didn't work well together. Not under Corporal Andrews. So they were separated, and Alfred had attempted suicide for the first time._

It had been years since they had seen each other.

Alfred swallowed.

"-fred…Alfred!" Matthew practically shouted, making Alfred jump.

"What…?" He blinked, confused.

"So you've been subpoenaed. Call the number, ask about the details. Find out about what's going on, you know? Who is the guy you've been subpoenaed about, exactly?"

"Ah…" He said, looking away. "Carlos is a bud of mine, from the first platoon I was assigned to. He…He and I never really got along, but…we were two of the three survivors from a pretty gruesome attack, along with Toris. And I've not seen either of then since we were put into separate platoons…"

"Well then…maybe helping him will finally get you some closure." Matthew said gently, and Alfred's breath hitched, staring down at the food in front of him.

Even though he felt nervous…he wasn't so disgusted as to no longer desire to eat. And so he picked up his fork and knife, and ate slowly. Alfred nodded at Matthew. "Maybe it will."

XXXXX

Arthur was awake the next morning, looking dazed, but was able to speak again. He was mostly unsure of what had happened, but explained that he had spontaneously gotten sick from being in the hospital, and Matthew had showed up, and helped the two of them.

"I need to go out, though." Alfred said, voice quiet. Arthur looked unsure, and Alfred grinned. "No worries, I'm not leaving you with Matthew again. You two need to learn how to get along."

Arthur snorted, but looked quietly pleased. Alfred grabbed a few pieces of clothing, and handed them to Arthur. The naga was curious enough, and put the shirt on over his head, and slipped on Alfred's jacket, enjoying the scent of his mate.

"So, why are you making me wear your clothing?" He asked, before Alfred pulled out a wheelchair, except it had a giant pouch under a small seat.

"'Cause I plan on taking you with me, babe." Alfred winked, making Arthur's eyes widen.

" _What?_ " He murmured, breathless, and Alfred grabbed his upper body, sitting his 'butt' in the tiny seat, and helping Arthur put the tail in the pouch, before covering the snake man's lap with the blanket.

"There! You look wonderfully human." Alfred grinned, kissing his lover on the forehead, the naga's green eyes wide with amazement. "You're Arthur Kirkland." Alfred explained, smiling. "You were kidnapped from England when you were a child, and held in Afghanistan for years, until I found you, half dead. Matthew here, well, he had to cut off your legs since they were nearly useless, and horrifically infected. You don't have any papers, but you live with me now, since the military let me make an exception for you."

Arthur looked up at him, his mouth set in a small 'o', and his eyes tearing up. "Thank you, love." He murmured, nuzzling Alfred's hand as his lover set it against his cheek.

"Now, I have a subpoena to fill." Alfred joked, and it was the first time since he was young, that Alfred left the house with more than his lonesome in a situation where no one was hurt.

On his right side, he had his brother, someone he had never thought he'd see in his whole life, and in front of him, pushed in his brand new human disguise, was Arthur, his green eyes wide and open to seeing the whole world in a new light.

XXXXX

The prosecutor and the lawyer had both shown up to talk with Alfred, who introduced himself. Toris and Carlos had been there, Carlos in handcuffs, and Toris as a slight little thing, a ghost of his former self.

"Man, you improved." Carlos said, voice weak, and Alfred had made a face, somehow feeling that he was once again the broken man that had cried in front of a disembodied hand, too distraught to even think clearly, to even think to live.

"Maybe." Alfred murmured, looking down. Arthur had gripped his hand tightly; a little too scared to speak in front of so many strangers, but more than willing to support his lover.

"You two are the other survivors." The lawyer had said, plainly, after the prosecutor left. "And you two are the key to getting my client the help he needs."

Toris blinked slowly, sighing, and Alfred had pat his shoulder reassuringly. "Tell us more about the case then, please?"

"Well, you both knew, presumably, that Carlos was smoking marijuana while he was serving." Alfred tensed as the blonde lawyer explained the case to them.

Toris snorted quietly. "That wasn't all." He said, and Alfred nudged him quietly, glaring. " _What_? The Lawyer has to know everything, doesn't he? That way, he can help Carlos better."

"That is true." The lawyer agreed, sighing. "Still, it would be very helpful if you didn't make snarky comments, Mr. Laurinaitis. And Mr. Jones, don't be antagonizing." Alfred looked to him in surprise, gulping quietly, wondering if the lawyer knew the irony in that statement, the same way that Carlos did- the Cuban American looking away awkwardly.

Toris sighed, and nodded resignedly, blowing hard against the hair that had messily fallen against his face. "Well. What do we do, precisely?" Alfred had to agree- he felt entirely useless, and had no idea of why they had called him in.

"Well, I need to make the case that the US military was irresponsible with dealing with you." Beilschmidt said, simply. "Carlos pointed the finger to you two, since you were the other survivors of the incident. Essentially, the case goes that the military didn't pay attention to you, and since there wasn't any safety net for you, you fell into various other methods of coping."

"I did say that you wouldn't be a good candidate." Carlos muttered as he looked at Alfred. "They got you treatment, so you disprove that argument."

He did get treatment. He hadn't gotten better he had gotten worse, worse, worse, it hurt still, he didn't know what to do.

"Treatment that nearly killed him!" Arthur suddenly shouted, angry, since Alfred had long since passed the point where he was uncomfortable, and had started shaking. "Alfred's been fucking  _suicidal_!"

Toris sighed, looking quietly at Carlos, and sitting with Alfred, rubbing the other's shoulder. "Carlos, you need to become gentler. And Alfred probably proves the military's misuse of us, the most. While you and I had…damage that wasn't really...easily seen… Alfred was most certainly in no fucking shape for active duty. And they kept him in the field. I heard about how he went missing, and his new Corporal asked  _me_ if Jones was suicidal in the days before they found him… They knew what their treatment had done to him, and yet… they kept him on active duty."

The lawyer was recording, and was quiet. "Is this true, Jones?" He asked, and Alfred's breath hitched, Arthur slowly rubbing the meat of his hand with his thumb, trying to keep the man grounded.

"Uhm." Alfred gulped, and Matthew sighed, rubbing his temples.

"You're asking a lot from him." Matthew pointed out quickly. "I can inform you what Arthur and I know. Alfred was given a  _multitude_  of drugs. An anti-psychotic, an anti-depressant, anti-anxiety pills- both for constant use and for emergency use. It wound up nearly killing him, because toxic shock. He wound up nearly killing himself one night, where Arthur barely stopped him from shooting himself, and had to be hospitalized for over a week- mostly because of the drugs nearly killing him, and they didn't have much time to address the fact he was  _literally_  suicidal."

Alfred looked away, unable to meet the gazes of Carlos and Toris. "Weren't those the same ones you were on before?" Toris asked, voice kind.

The veteran could only nod. "Well, Alfred's testimony might be more helpful than Carlos led me to believe." The lawyer said, voice soft. "But it's on him to come to court. He doesn't have to give testimony- especially if it causes him distress."

"I…I want to help him." Alfred admitted. "I…I'm tired of living in fear. Fear of what's happened to me." He squeezed Arthur's hand. "I want to face this. End this. I'm tired of waking up with nightmares, and taking drugs that don't work because I don't want to have to talk about it. I've run away from what happened to us for long enough. It's time to end this, isn't it?"

Carlos was staring at him in shock, but there was an unquestionable smile that broke out on the others face. "Thanks, Al." He murmured, the Cuban nodding gratefully.

Arthur nodded, smiling slowly as well, ready to support Alfred however he needed.

XXXXX

"So, you're dating Alfred?" Toris asked, the other vet coming out with Alfred and Arthur for drinks, and wound up talking with Arthur.

"Yes." Arthur agreed, biting his bottom lip and rubbing the nape of his neck. Alfred wrapped his hand around Arthur's shoulder, the wheelchair pulled up to the side of the table, as the four of them had visited a restaurant."

"I'm glad you two have each other." Toris admitted, sighing. "I was surprised that Carlos never caught on, but I suppose he didn't want to see what the accident had done to you. I suppose it was easier for to hate you if he didn't understand what you were going through, Al."

Alfred nodded slowly, letting Arthur comfort him this time, and leaned into his embrace.

"At some point, I want to know about what happened to Thomas' family." Alfred revealed, far more subdued than usual, but it was fine- Matthew and Arthur were there, supporting him.

He'd be going to a therapist for the first time since being hospitalized, and admittedly, Alfred was scared for that too. However, Matthew assured him that he'd only have to go to one session, and if he didn't like it, he'd never have to go again."

"Well," Toris smiled. "The kids are older now. Their mom is a widow, but she's nice, you know? She's…upset that he's gone, but she's happy. She'll wanna see you too. I told her that her husband hadn't died for nothing at his funeral, and when she asked what he had died for, I simply said, for the sake of others, who hadn't found happiness yet, like you."

Alfred was ready to cry all over again, and Arthur kissed his love's cheek, letting the other rest his head against Arthur's shoulder.

It was quiet, but it was steady. Arthur's hand on his head, slowly stroking his hair and pulling Alfred close…it was helping Alfred finally break down the need to be strong, to help others and not himself. He didn't have to protect everyone. He couldn't always only help others, he'd…he'd never be happy if that was his only meaning in life.

"Thomas wanted everyone to be happy, after all." Toris finished. "He wanted us to get home, and find what would complete us."

Somehow, the feeling of Arthur's hand on his back, slightly cold but reassuring was all that he had needed.

Arthur, the strange creature that he had discovered in Afghanistan, even though he had never found the missing texts that he had thrown himself into looking forward when his second tour started despite how Alfred felt like dying.

Arthur, the snake man that Alfred had saved when no one else had bothered, no one else had been brave enough to despite how the man was on the verge of death, alone and sick.

He had always been compassionate, even when he had been 18 years old and working himself to the bone, refusing to let his mom's money go to waste as he waited for the ROTC program to enroll him in the school.

He had been a happy person, what felt like so long ago. In fact, he knew that somewhere along the line, his happiness had ceased to matter to himself. He could point the finger at the death of Corporal Thomas, or it could go deeper than that, when he was 13 and his mom had been diagnosed with cancer, and suddenly the only person in his life that mattered couldn't take care of herself anymore.

Arthur had filled some of the hole left in his heart, he supposed, of people he hadn't been able to help, those he hadn't been able to save. At first, Alfred had been afraid, since Arthur had started to get better. He had pulled through unlike many others that Alfred had cared this much about for.

And while there had been points in time where Arthur had gotten worse, had made him afraid of losing him like he had lost everyone else, the other had proven himself to be rather tenacious, keen to survive.

And the meeting finished, Matthew insisting he pay the bill, since Toris' eyes were sunken with hunger and sorrow much the same way Alfred's were.

XXXXX

"The army pays you shit now that you're no longer working." Matthew admitted readily. "I'm an intern, and I make more money than you. And for crying out loud! You guys watched your friends die and nearly died a few times yourself, and for what? A lot of back pay and shit insurance."

Alfred smiled weakly, wheeling Arthur back into the house, the naga looking tired and ready to disappear from the world- because even though he had been fascinated with everything, it was a hard transition to go from seeing maybe 3 faces consistently, to seeing hundreds of faces he'd never see again.

It was a jarring switch, but not all bad. It meant that he would finally have the life he had dreamed about as a kid.

Matthew got them inside, and that was the end of it, the twin brother eventually saying he had work to be getting to, his vacation days were gone, and his dad was going to kill him for being gone so long. "Mind if I take him a picture of you and mom?" Matthew asked, innocently enough, and the hatred of Alfred's mom reverberated in him.

"Sure…" Alfred eventually agreed, and Matthew nodded, hugging Alfred.

"I'll be out here again soon, got it? I'll be back. You're my brother. I may have missed mom, but I won't miss you."

Matthew had taken a photograph of a teenaged Alfred and his mom, in a hospital bed. It had been her birthday when they had taken that photo, and Alfred had been 16.

Arthur grabbed his hand, and smiled as he asked to get taken out of the chair. Once he was on the floor, Arthur sighed. "I really do have to learn how to use this tail better." He murmured. "Years of being cooped up, and I have very little skill in moving around with it." Arthur was rather contemplative, even as he gripped Alfred and Alfred led him to the bedroom.

"Well, you have plenty of time." Alfred said, a small, tentative smile on his face as the idea of time- since he had lived his life frantically from one item to the other for over a decade at this point- frightened him.

"That's true." Arthur agreed, kissing the man's cheek. "Now, get into the bed, will you? I've barely been conscious lately, and I want to spend some quality time with you."

XXXXX

The weeks that followed involved Arthur managing Alfred's schedule, learning how to read and write better, getting Alfred from one appointment with his therapist- one he had taken a liking too- to the psychiatrist appointment to assist with managing medications. No insane cocktail like the one before, but a single anti-anxiety medication, one that helped the nightmares more than anything else.

"You mentioned wanting to tie me up in order to have sex before, haven't you?" Arthur teased, handing him handcuffs that he had bought at the store- to the intense curiosity of the sex toy shop's employees.

Alfred went a shade of red so intense that Arthur was worried that the other was suffocating.

His lover was tentative with the restraints, tying Arthur's tail down with no small amount of skill, until the naga simply couldn't move it. It was sort of scary, but Alfred's reassuring kisses reminded him that it was the human he trusted most doing this, not some crooked scientist eager to sex him.

And Arthur honestly wouldn't have minded it entirely if Alfred had decided to "roleplay" that Arthur was Alfred's experiment, but that would be an adventure for another day. For now, it was easy enough to have Alfred sink his cock into the slit underneath Arthur's own, and ravish the bound naga senseless, all passionate kisses and little toothy nips on sensitive skin that Arthur was unused to- but completely open to as well.

The feeling was strange, but good. This was their second time having sex, and Arthur was coming to enjoy it. Alfred looked like he enjoyed this one more as well, even as Arthur lost his ability to speak good and proper English for how wonderful it was, the precise warmth in his groin that made his head feel like it was filled with stuffing.

Then it was filled with liquid, and Alfred groaned as he came to completion, much like Arthur did only moments later, kissing Alfred in the midst of passion, though it was hard to kiss Alfred's face with his body tied down to the bed.

Luckily enough, Alfred untied him, and kissed him reassuringly, Arthur balling up almost in instinct, before remembering that it wasn't his best trait- particularly since he felt the urge to curl up around Alfred and squeeze. He knew that the human would suffocate, so he left himself to nuzzle the human's chest and left it at that.

Life would be okay, Arthur had a feeling.

XXXXX

Carlos went on trial in late 2015; not quite a full year after Alfred came home from the front. He was nervous- he didn't want to fail him.

Before he went on trial, he finally saw the widow of Corporal Thomas. It was cathartic, seeing her, seeing how she missed him, how her kids missed him…but she absolved Alfred of guilt. Her husband had died, but had saved younger lives- the lives of those who hadn't experienced life.

He still had the nightmares of course, of the car twisting in front of him, of the explosion blasting the glass out in front of them, flipping their car and destroying the other, seeing the disembodied limbs and the flames, but… they came less frequently.

And now Arthur was at his side, in his wheelchair and ready to support him, the emergency anti-anxiety in the naga's coat pocket, the tail hidden in the wheelchair, under the blanket. He looked sleepy, and Alfred knew it was because it was nearly time for the naga to go back into hibernation, but he was glad that Arthur wanted to support him through the trial if he could.

Matthew was in the process of moving to the States for good, to work at the hospital with Ivan and his friends, and he visited frequently as he could.

Arthur sighed as he brushed the dust of Alfred's suit for the courtroom, his lover looking nervous, but ready to end this chapter of his life. The naga understood full well that Alfred felt he had a duty to Carlos- Toris, Carlos and Alfred had been screwed over by the US military- who hadn't taken them off the front when they had started going downhill. But, for all his thoughts that Alfred wasn't obligated to help someone who seemed to enjoy berating him so much…he supposed that their compassion, Alfred's compassion…

Well, it was what made them all human.

Despite his tail that was in place of legs, he was glad to say that he had a human heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM. done. happy thanksgivin ya'll

**Author's Note:**

> as unfortunate as it is to say, i've disabled anonymous commenting on this story. for one reason or the other, someone has been waltzing around specifically this story, on both this account and my other account, saying things about how countries arent gay, how this is gross, to the more severe and targed toward me- including "some homosexuals have a little tact in public", and how I need to be "fixed where I can't breed".... (you can see a few of these comments on this chapter, the rest are on my ff account. 
> 
> However, as it stands, i want to keep anonymous commenting open since i know that not everyone has an account, but...i dont like being harrassed, and someone most certainly /is/ harrassing me. so off they go...


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